One of the nice things about blogging is that I can make my blog however I want. Usually I try to amuse with the random stories of my life but sometimes I can err on the snarky side (i.e. posts about the 8th dwarf) and today I am going to play the writer's choice card and walk on the more profound side of life. Indulge me or skip a day ...it is totally up to you.
I lost a dear friend yesterday...completely sudden and totally unexpected. This woman was an amazing testament to the joy of life and was constantly sharing stories of her son and grandchild whenever she could. She also was the amazing type of soul who reminded you to enjoy life to its fullest, to never take a moment for granted and to kiss your loved ones (especially your children) whenever you could. Advice we should all heed.
She was a very active part of the festival I am involved in so I've known her for years...and she always was looking out for me. After my husband and I split up she was determined to set me up with this good friend of hers...someone I know, think is incredibly hot but am pretty convinced he and I play for the same team...Anyhow, I had just started really dating Alex so told her why I wasn't interested. She knew him as well and just said "as long as you love one another and are happy, nothing else matters". That is how she lived...and was fortunate to have been married to a man who truly adored her...for 30+ years!
Losing her was a reminder to always tell people you love them, to never take one second for granted, and to remember life is short...live, laugh, love...every minute of every day. I have been doing that and know I have no regrets. The choices I've made have made me who I am and each step I take toward tomorrow means I'm living. Thank you for continuing to live right along with me.
Monday, April 18, 2011
Thursday, April 14, 2011
New complaint to lodge
I swear I am a very positive person but I also figure I have this blog to share my frustrations, my concerns, hey, anything that can make you laugh with me, at me, I don’t care…just laugh. And, if you’ve been reading my ramblings for any amount of time you know that my complaints aren’t usually about threats to the ozone layer or the price of gas (although that truly is insane!) but about things which really affect our day to day lives…like my mini rant today.
I’m a big fan of NBC’s The Biggest Loser…we’ve established that in the past…and established that, unlike most of its viewers, I am not inspired by the incredible weight loss experienced by the contestants. I think what they have done and, are doing, is amazing and I applaud them for their efforts. However, while I am not proud of this side of me, I also get a little miffed. I’m pretty sure I could lose the 15 pounds I need to lose if I had a personal chef, worked out all day and didn’t have to juggle my bike rides to nowhere with homework help, car pool, basketball practices, laundry, and oh yeah, work.
And, really, it isn’t even that about the show that is truly bugging my size 10 (or 12) booty today. It is the ridiculous claim that by popping in a piece of sugar free gum that supposedly tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream, you will be able to avoid the craving that has you inhaling a bag of Jolly Rancher Tropical flavored jelly beans. I don’t even like ice cream and I can promise you no inch sized piece of flavored chemicals is going to make me think I’ve eaten a hot fudge sundae and feel satisfied. That is like telling me dreaming about an evening with Steve McGarrey from Hawaii Five-O is going to make me feel like my last booty call was actually in this decade. Yeah, not so much!
But, because I would actually like to attract someone who thinks I’m hot, and because I refuse to buy an entire wardrobe of “big girl” clothes, I am chewing away on a piece of sugar free Red Hot Trident waiting for the sigh of satisfaction…yeah, still waiting.
I’m a big fan of NBC’s The Biggest Loser…we’ve established that in the past…and established that, unlike most of its viewers, I am not inspired by the incredible weight loss experienced by the contestants. I think what they have done and, are doing, is amazing and I applaud them for their efforts. However, while I am not proud of this side of me, I also get a little miffed. I’m pretty sure I could lose the 15 pounds I need to lose if I had a personal chef, worked out all day and didn’t have to juggle my bike rides to nowhere with homework help, car pool, basketball practices, laundry, and oh yeah, work.
And, really, it isn’t even that about the show that is truly bugging my size 10 (or 12) booty today. It is the ridiculous claim that by popping in a piece of sugar free gum that supposedly tastes like mint chocolate chip ice cream, you will be able to avoid the craving that has you inhaling a bag of Jolly Rancher Tropical flavored jelly beans. I don’t even like ice cream and I can promise you no inch sized piece of flavored chemicals is going to make me think I’ve eaten a hot fudge sundae and feel satisfied. That is like telling me dreaming about an evening with Steve McGarrey from Hawaii Five-O is going to make me feel like my last booty call was actually in this decade. Yeah, not so much!
But, because I would actually like to attract someone who thinks I’m hot, and because I refuse to buy an entire wardrobe of “big girl” clothes, I am chewing away on a piece of sugar free Red Hot Trident waiting for the sigh of satisfaction…yeah, still waiting.
Tuesday, April 12, 2011
I vote no on aging...
I know it isn't actually a democracy where aging is concerned but, really, it should be. Anything that has this deep of an impact on my life should really have warranted a little discussion, the ability to debate, heck, compromise just a tad. But no, it continues to happen...bit by bit so that every time I look in the mirror now I have to do a double take to see who that incredibly mature woman is looking back at me.
This isn't a new dilemma, nor do I even pretend it is unique to me...but I was struck by the very tough reality that I was getting a manicure last night with my grandmother's hands. Seriously, a few months ago I would look down and think, "hmm, there are a few more wrinkles than there used to be" but just shrug and move on. Not so much anymore. Now, these are the hands I remember from my childhood...fresh from the salon and smelling like lotion. And, the saddest part was, my first thought was "how am I going to get a man with these hands?" Seriously?! Now I have to add "likes my wrinkly, old lady hands" to my list! Ugh!
Of course my hands aren't the only part of me that seems to be falling under the whole turning 42 spell. I had my annual eye exam last week and, while I have the knack for always making my young, only kind of cute optometrist laugh, he did seem to giggle a little sheepishly when I joked about having to hold my menu out a little further than I used to. I blamed it on my upper arm work outs...it is just better for your triceps to hold the menu at arm's length. He didn't laugh as hard as I thought he would at my cute little joke...he answered "Yes, you are at that age". That age?!? The age of my parents?! Again, this is not making me feel any sexier!
But my body did want to take a little pity on me and make me feel like I wasn't ready for social security just yet. No, the checker didn't ask for my ID when I bought 6 bottles of wine. And, no, the bagger didn't say "Hey cutie," instead of "Here you go, Ma'am". No, this gift of youth was a complete acne break out. Again, with the really?! How is possible that my wrinkles have pimples? Shouldn't that be against some sort of Mother Nature Law? If you should be a candidate for massive amounts of botox, shouldn't you not have to buy Clearasil as well?
Don't worry, I haven't completely gone off the old lady rocker and started wearing housecoats with my slippers. Actually, just the opposite and decided I'll give the old Oil of Olay tag line a new edge..I'll grow old gracefully just with a whole lot of sass!
This isn't a new dilemma, nor do I even pretend it is unique to me...but I was struck by the very tough reality that I was getting a manicure last night with my grandmother's hands. Seriously, a few months ago I would look down and think, "hmm, there are a few more wrinkles than there used to be" but just shrug and move on. Not so much anymore. Now, these are the hands I remember from my childhood...fresh from the salon and smelling like lotion. And, the saddest part was, my first thought was "how am I going to get a man with these hands?" Seriously?! Now I have to add "likes my wrinkly, old lady hands" to my list! Ugh!
Of course my hands aren't the only part of me that seems to be falling under the whole turning 42 spell. I had my annual eye exam last week and, while I have the knack for always making my young, only kind of cute optometrist laugh, he did seem to giggle a little sheepishly when I joked about having to hold my menu out a little further than I used to. I blamed it on my upper arm work outs...it is just better for your triceps to hold the menu at arm's length. He didn't laugh as hard as I thought he would at my cute little joke...he answered "Yes, you are at that age". That age?!? The age of my parents?! Again, this is not making me feel any sexier!
But my body did want to take a little pity on me and make me feel like I wasn't ready for social security just yet. No, the checker didn't ask for my ID when I bought 6 bottles of wine. And, no, the bagger didn't say "Hey cutie," instead of "Here you go, Ma'am". No, this gift of youth was a complete acne break out. Again, with the really?! How is possible that my wrinkles have pimples? Shouldn't that be against some sort of Mother Nature Law? If you should be a candidate for massive amounts of botox, shouldn't you not have to buy Clearasil as well?
Don't worry, I haven't completely gone off the old lady rocker and started wearing housecoats with my slippers. Actually, just the opposite and decided I'll give the old Oil of Olay tag line a new edge..I'll grow old gracefully just with a whole lot of sass!
Monday, April 11, 2011
Life is full of reminders…
Country songs are written about unanswered prayers for a reason…it is true. Our lives take the paths they do because somewhere deep inside you know it is the right direction to head. It isn’t easy, and at times it hurts more than you think you can bear but you continue on, one step, one day, one week, one month…until you get to the point you can wake up in the morning and know you are where you are supposed to be. I know this to be the case because while waking up in a Chase Suites (with lots to be desired) hotel room in Southern CA may not seem like the place to be, it was where my heart belonged this past weekend.
We all know I loved Alex with all of my heart…and will admit to focusing more on that than on other aspects of my life. Leaving him was and will be the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make and I also will admit that I missed him this weekend. He would have been very proud of my little rock star son…he was amazing! But, what I realized was this is my life…I like being the fun, cute, very enthusiastic basketball mom who can focus on the wants and needs of my two amazing children without worrying that I’m neglecting him, neglecting them, not giving anyone the attention they deserve. And, when I do meet the man who I’m supposed to be with (either a new one or a much improved earlier model) he is going to not only appreciate that but want to be right there with me cheering on these incredible people.
And, believe me, cheer I did! In one gym, and then another, and oh yeah, two to three more. As we jetted from one Beverly Hills 90210 high school to another, I would either provide pep talks to the players or listen to the girls discuss where Selena Gomez was shopping that day…we did see a few limos that I tried to convince them contained very famous celebrities. Outside of the fact we were 1-3 for the weekend, it really was an unforgettable experience for all involved. And, one I wouldn’t have missed for the world.
I hate to disappoint those of you who were hoping for a Real Housewives of the OC post today but really it was a very easy (well, as easy as it can be to drive around Southern CA for two days) weekend. Yes, that means the Amazon girlfriend did not go…not sure why…didn’t ask…just noticed when we all met up for lunch on the road that she did not emerge from the car with my former husband, my daughter and her friend. Maybe the thought of 6 hours in the car with two incredibly chatty elementary school girls was just too much for her. That definitely takes the blame off of me…I mean I am sure it had nothing to do with not wanting to spend 48 solid hours with little ole me.
In the grand scale of my life I’m going to give this weekend a 9…no annoying girlfriend, superstar children, gorgeous weather, lots of good mom moments but I wouldn’t have minded the partner to turn to when I yell “oh my gosh, did you see that? He is aMAZing!!”
We all know I loved Alex with all of my heart…and will admit to focusing more on that than on other aspects of my life. Leaving him was and will be the hardest choice I’ve ever had to make and I also will admit that I missed him this weekend. He would have been very proud of my little rock star son…he was amazing! But, what I realized was this is my life…I like being the fun, cute, very enthusiastic basketball mom who can focus on the wants and needs of my two amazing children without worrying that I’m neglecting him, neglecting them, not giving anyone the attention they deserve. And, when I do meet the man who I’m supposed to be with (either a new one or a much improved earlier model) he is going to not only appreciate that but want to be right there with me cheering on these incredible people.
And, believe me, cheer I did! In one gym, and then another, and oh yeah, two to three more. As we jetted from one Beverly Hills 90210 high school to another, I would either provide pep talks to the players or listen to the girls discuss where Selena Gomez was shopping that day…we did see a few limos that I tried to convince them contained very famous celebrities. Outside of the fact we were 1-3 for the weekend, it really was an unforgettable experience for all involved. And, one I wouldn’t have missed for the world.
I hate to disappoint those of you who were hoping for a Real Housewives of the OC post today but really it was a very easy (well, as easy as it can be to drive around Southern CA for two days) weekend. Yes, that means the Amazon girlfriend did not go…not sure why…didn’t ask…just noticed when we all met up for lunch on the road that she did not emerge from the car with my former husband, my daughter and her friend. Maybe the thought of 6 hours in the car with two incredibly chatty elementary school girls was just too much for her. That definitely takes the blame off of me…I mean I am sure it had nothing to do with not wanting to spend 48 solid hours with little ole me.
In the grand scale of my life I’m going to give this weekend a 9…no annoying girlfriend, superstar children, gorgeous weather, lots of good mom moments but I wouldn’t have minded the partner to turn to when I yell “oh my gosh, did you see that? He is aMAZing!!”
Wednesday, April 6, 2011
Is there an App for that?
My son is basketball rock star! Really! This isn't just a proud mama talking about her baby...the one who made her throw up for 9 months straight, the one whose entry into the world meant baby #2 is my adorable Bloomingdale's daughter...this is the truth. Okay, maybe not NBA worthy...yet...he is only 11! But good enough to make it onto the regional all star team and then win their way to a trip to Southern California for more games. All very exciting stuff...but not what I need an APP for. I've got the basketball mom thing down to a science...and one I'm actually really good at. No, I'm going to need technology, chemicals, wine, whatever...as the stellar performance of the superstar means everyone is spending the weekend together in SoCal.
Of course, by everyone, I mean the kids, the former husband and the Amazon girlfriend. No, don't think she has grown an incredible interest in the sports my kids play...I mean we do remember the 5 inch heels and skin tight jeans she wore to the daughter's game a few months ago. No, her presence is based solely on the fact I will be there as well. Believe me, I try to put myself in her shoes and understand her position in our strange little friendly divorce scenario but I just can't get past the fake boobs and insincere smile to reach the point of pure empathy.
It is an extremely well established fact that I don't ever, let me repeat, not ever, do we understand ever, want to get back with the former husband. She can have him. But she still seems to be intimidated by my presence...hey, what can I say? The overweight 5'2" threat that I am! It just makes for an uncomfortable prospect...and, of course, we are all staying at the same hotel. Yes, my bags will be packed with wine, wine and oh yeah, wine! Any chance I can drop 20 pounds and grow 6 inches before Friday? Yeah, probably not.
Of course, by everyone, I mean the kids, the former husband and the Amazon girlfriend. No, don't think she has grown an incredible interest in the sports my kids play...I mean we do remember the 5 inch heels and skin tight jeans she wore to the daughter's game a few months ago. No, her presence is based solely on the fact I will be there as well. Believe me, I try to put myself in her shoes and understand her position in our strange little friendly divorce scenario but I just can't get past the fake boobs and insincere smile to reach the point of pure empathy.
It is an extremely well established fact that I don't ever, let me repeat, not ever, do we understand ever, want to get back with the former husband. She can have him. But she still seems to be intimidated by my presence...hey, what can I say? The overweight 5'2" threat that I am! It just makes for an uncomfortable prospect...and, of course, we are all staying at the same hotel. Yes, my bags will be packed with wine, wine and oh yeah, wine! Any chance I can drop 20 pounds and grow 6 inches before Friday? Yeah, probably not.
Monday, April 4, 2011
Julia Roberts w/ a side of Prozac
I had another one of my life changing and world altering epiphanies last night - the producers of chick flicks are also the makers of anti-depressants. C'mon, it makes sense. You watch a movie about soul wrenching love where the woman not only makes it through incredible heartache but comes out on the other side looking like a million bucks, meets the true man of her dreams and never has to worry about paying another bill again. Really? Because that is what every single mother living on a tight budget knows is just right around the corner. They should actually put up a disclaimer like they do for the common sense impaired during stunt car commercials "Warning: do not try this at home. This is not reality, moron!"
Okay, I'm not that completely cynical nor do I really believe life is supposed to be the way it is portrayed on the big screen. However, as I sat down to watch Eat, Pray, Love I do have to admit to having moments of exasperation thinking how unrealistic this "true" story actually was. Yes, the divorce was painful and yes, her heartbreak was real. But, you find me one "actual" woman who, when going through a divorce, was able to jet off around the world to truly find herself...and, in the meantime find one heck of a hottie soul mate.
Believe me, there are moments...lots of them...where I just want to pack up my kids and move to parts (well not unknown) but far away, nonetheless, where I could just start over. Where I don't have to worry about running into Alex and his 8th dwarf girlfriend...where I can go to my children's games without looking like an oompa loompa next to former husband's Amazon arm candy...where I believe I can be myself and fall in love again...hopefully forever this time. Then, of course, I wake up, do the 4th load of laundry of the day, log onto my work computer to do a few last minute things since I had to leave early to pick the kids up from school...and, if it is one of my really lucky days, the dogs may have destroyed another stuffed animal for me to clean up. No, it is definitely not Bali!
But, before you all start to stage a friend-a-vention, don't worry, I haven't taken to sitting in front of the Lifetime channel with a quart of Ben & Jerry's, only pausing to refill my Diet Coke (a girl's got to watch her weight, right?)...I've actually done the opposite and have been going to the gym, making myself make plans for the weekends I don't have the kids and have only "stopped by" Alex's FB and dive page once or twice. I am getting better and stronger...just not quite like a Hollywood screenplay.
Okay, I'm not that completely cynical nor do I really believe life is supposed to be the way it is portrayed on the big screen. However, as I sat down to watch Eat, Pray, Love I do have to admit to having moments of exasperation thinking how unrealistic this "true" story actually was. Yes, the divorce was painful and yes, her heartbreak was real. But, you find me one "actual" woman who, when going through a divorce, was able to jet off around the world to truly find herself...and, in the meantime find one heck of a hottie soul mate.
Believe me, there are moments...lots of them...where I just want to pack up my kids and move to parts (well not unknown) but far away, nonetheless, where I could just start over. Where I don't have to worry about running into Alex and his 8th dwarf girlfriend...where I can go to my children's games without looking like an oompa loompa next to former husband's Amazon arm candy...where I believe I can be myself and fall in love again...hopefully forever this time. Then, of course, I wake up, do the 4th load of laundry of the day, log onto my work computer to do a few last minute things since I had to leave early to pick the kids up from school...and, if it is one of my really lucky days, the dogs may have destroyed another stuffed animal for me to clean up. No, it is definitely not Bali!
But, before you all start to stage a friend-a-vention, don't worry, I haven't taken to sitting in front of the Lifetime channel with a quart of Ben & Jerry's, only pausing to refill my Diet Coke (a girl's got to watch her weight, right?)...I've actually done the opposite and have been going to the gym, making myself make plans for the weekends I don't have the kids and have only "stopped by" Alex's FB and dive page once or twice. I am getting better and stronger...just not quite like a Hollywood screenplay.
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
Put away your dukes...ugh!
So, as much as I agree with the experts that say having a good relationship with my former spouse is incredibly beneficial for our children, at times I want to throw the entire healthy divorce concept out the nearest window (or at his head!).
The trouble is I am constantly reminded why we are no longer married, and I while I can seek solace in my own home with my dogs and a glass of wine, I no longer really have the luxury of telling him how I feel. If we were married, while frowned upon, we could argue or fight about an issue. I could tell him he was being selfish and contrary to the opinion of his overly large ego, it isn’t always about him.
But, we aren’t married (and, as you can tell, for good reason) and fighting with your former spouse is unhealthy and counter-productive (pretty sure that was the case when we were married too). So instead I endure a 45 minute conversation where he complained about this person or that, how far away our son’s basketball game is, how no one listened to his opinion and how he may as well just go have a glass of wine with friends after he drops off our daughter with me and our son at basketball practice (after lamenting that our daughter has commented about no time with him). Because I couldn’t say in a very sweet voice “Get over yourself you egotistical dingbat” I am now inhaling jelly beans and peanuts. The combination of which, while making me feel a little less homicidal, is erasing the 5 am visit to the gym this morning. Maybe that is why his current girlfriend lives at the gym! Actually, as she is no rocket scientist, I’m pretty sure his rants don’t faze her.
How is it that by divorcing him I lost the right to be mad at him? Pretty sure I don’t remember signing that agreement!
However, now that the sugar has shocked my system, I can think a little more clearly and admit, no amount of being able to be mad would entice me to be married to him ever again so I guess this is a small price to pay. I just better plan on lots more 5 am wake up calls!
The trouble is I am constantly reminded why we are no longer married, and I while I can seek solace in my own home with my dogs and a glass of wine, I no longer really have the luxury of telling him how I feel. If we were married, while frowned upon, we could argue or fight about an issue. I could tell him he was being selfish and contrary to the opinion of his overly large ego, it isn’t always about him.
But, we aren’t married (and, as you can tell, for good reason) and fighting with your former spouse is unhealthy and counter-productive (pretty sure that was the case when we were married too). So instead I endure a 45 minute conversation where he complained about this person or that, how far away our son’s basketball game is, how no one listened to his opinion and how he may as well just go have a glass of wine with friends after he drops off our daughter with me and our son at basketball practice (after lamenting that our daughter has commented about no time with him). Because I couldn’t say in a very sweet voice “Get over yourself you egotistical dingbat” I am now inhaling jelly beans and peanuts. The combination of which, while making me feel a little less homicidal, is erasing the 5 am visit to the gym this morning. Maybe that is why his current girlfriend lives at the gym! Actually, as she is no rocket scientist, I’m pretty sure his rants don’t faze her.
How is it that by divorcing him I lost the right to be mad at him? Pretty sure I don’t remember signing that agreement!
However, now that the sugar has shocked my system, I can think a little more clearly and admit, no amount of being able to be mad would entice me to be married to him ever again so I guess this is a small price to pay. I just better plan on lots more 5 am wake up calls!
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Do you like her? Check yes or no.
Since I consider any of you who take the time to read my ramblings about my insane life, my friends, you might as well take part in our Operation Mathews (that isn’t the official name but I am protecting the poor unsuspecting innocent here). You can chime in with thoughts, suggestions or now that you know geographic location is not on my ever growing list, you can come up with a name or two yourself. I mean, why not?!
First, this whole being set up thing is a lot harder as we grow. What ever happened to your friend telling the guy Du Jour that you thought he was cute? Then during the next bell break, you two are going together. Granted, now as a mom, when my 6th grade son says Billy & Suzie are together I ask the same annoying question my mom asked me “together how?” Fortunately, I am, of course, much cooler than my mom was so we laugh and move on. (Hey, it’s my story so I’m again telling it how I want!)
Also, the current subject of our plot doesn’t want to make life easy by having a Facebook page. Then I could just drop cute witty little comments accompanied by my smiling face and alas he’d be smitten. Since he doesn’t have the page I can pretty much just assume that is how it would happen! I think there is a county wide petition being signed to get him to join but as of yet I haven’t gotten the very important friend request.
Of course, we have enlisted assistants in our plot through the incredible heart of my BFF’s husband. I’m sure part of his participation is based solely on his desire to see me happy but, I also suspect he could be motivated by the thought if I meet someone there, his wife will have less reason to want to fly 3000 miles to see me! Hey, I don’t care the reason, I’m just happy we have a little testosterone on our side. Although, that also does come with the need to be patient. Not exactly my strong suit…big shocker!
I guess he isn’t quite comfortable with the whole “So, I’ve got this girl (okay very mature girl) who I want to set you up with. Let’s see, she’s attractive (I don’t think I can claim hot), funny, smart, loves sports….and, oh yeah, she lives in California” conversation. Maybe we could help him with this one.
And, before you start to worry that I’ve become obsessed with this plan/plot…yes, I have! But, it is keeping me from venturing into the never to be visited again on-line world of dating and, more importantly, keeping me from texting Alex. Yes, after almost 2 years I still have to stop myself. I just keep hoping that the man who fits all the qualities on my list will make it so I can finally close that chapter once and for all.
So, for any of my Virginia reading friends, yes…feel free to chime in. For all of my CA friends, don’t worry, I’m not moving any time soon…just plan on racking up some frequent flier miles.
First, this whole being set up thing is a lot harder as we grow. What ever happened to your friend telling the guy Du Jour that you thought he was cute? Then during the next bell break, you two are going together. Granted, now as a mom, when my 6th grade son says Billy & Suzie are together I ask the same annoying question my mom asked me “together how?” Fortunately, I am, of course, much cooler than my mom was so we laugh and move on. (Hey, it’s my story so I’m again telling it how I want!)
Also, the current subject of our plot doesn’t want to make life easy by having a Facebook page. Then I could just drop cute witty little comments accompanied by my smiling face and alas he’d be smitten. Since he doesn’t have the page I can pretty much just assume that is how it would happen! I think there is a county wide petition being signed to get him to join but as of yet I haven’t gotten the very important friend request.
Of course, we have enlisted assistants in our plot through the incredible heart of my BFF’s husband. I’m sure part of his participation is based solely on his desire to see me happy but, I also suspect he could be motivated by the thought if I meet someone there, his wife will have less reason to want to fly 3000 miles to see me! Hey, I don’t care the reason, I’m just happy we have a little testosterone on our side. Although, that also does come with the need to be patient. Not exactly my strong suit…big shocker!
I guess he isn’t quite comfortable with the whole “So, I’ve got this girl (okay very mature girl) who I want to set you up with. Let’s see, she’s attractive (I don’t think I can claim hot), funny, smart, loves sports….and, oh yeah, she lives in California” conversation. Maybe we could help him with this one.
And, before you start to worry that I’ve become obsessed with this plan/plot…yes, I have! But, it is keeping me from venturing into the never to be visited again on-line world of dating and, more importantly, keeping me from texting Alex. Yes, after almost 2 years I still have to stop myself. I just keep hoping that the man who fits all the qualities on my list will make it so I can finally close that chapter once and for all.
So, for any of my Virginia reading friends, yes…feel free to chime in. For all of my CA friends, don’t worry, I’m not moving any time soon…just plan on racking up some frequent flier miles.
Monday, March 14, 2011
Home is where the heart is...
That phrase adorns needlepointed pillows, hearth decorated wall plaques and kitchen stencils all over America. We've all heard it, we've all said it but until recently I didn't really realize how it has dominated my life.
Yes, my kids are my world...my rock...my true center of being and with them, I am home. However, there is something, and it is something I can not truly explain that happens when I cross the county line in Mathews County, Virginia and I am truly home. It isn't just because the town has withstood the tests of time and I can still find my way around after 25 years...nor is it that the best friend I've ever known still lives there with her family...nor is it even that it has some of the most beautiful coast lines I've ever seen. It is because my shoulders ease up every time I hear someone say "what can I get y'all". It is because you'll never meet a stranger. It is because when I call someone honey or darlin' or sweetie, it is common place. It is because people there truly know me and love me. It is because it is home.
After much consternation and finally blackmail by my 11 year old son, I made a visit there a week ago. It was exactly what this heart both needed and should have avoided. Needed because I was reminded of what I am looking for in life, what is important, a place where hard work, loyalty, family all mean something. Where, while it isn't perfect and marriages still fall apart, there are more who are celebrating their 40th, their 50th, their 60th wedding anniversaries.
But, should have avoided because it reminds me that what I am looking for doesn't exist in the Bay Area of California...or, if it does, is much harder to find. The man who will love, adore, heck idolize me...while also understanding I need to be kept in check every once in a while, lives on the water in a small town 3000 miles away. And, for the foreseeable future, that is not where I will be.
However, instead of dwelling on being sad, my longtime BFF and I have a plan...one that involves some poor unsuspecting single dad in Mathews. One, who, in high school was the catch and now just needs to be reminded of that by some cute, almost sexy, California Virginia girl. No, he has no idea there is this plot to find him Ms. Wonderful. But, it sure will be fun!
As I was going through security, the TSA agent in Richmond looked at my driver's license and said with a wink "Now that's a beautiful California smile" to which I answered "Thank you, but actually, it is a great Virginia smile, just living in California." Now, don't forget to come back to this page, y'all.
Yes, my kids are my world...my rock...my true center of being and with them, I am home. However, there is something, and it is something I can not truly explain that happens when I cross the county line in Mathews County, Virginia and I am truly home. It isn't just because the town has withstood the tests of time and I can still find my way around after 25 years...nor is it that the best friend I've ever known still lives there with her family...nor is it even that it has some of the most beautiful coast lines I've ever seen. It is because my shoulders ease up every time I hear someone say "what can I get y'all". It is because you'll never meet a stranger. It is because when I call someone honey or darlin' or sweetie, it is common place. It is because people there truly know me and love me. It is because it is home.
After much consternation and finally blackmail by my 11 year old son, I made a visit there a week ago. It was exactly what this heart both needed and should have avoided. Needed because I was reminded of what I am looking for in life, what is important, a place where hard work, loyalty, family all mean something. Where, while it isn't perfect and marriages still fall apart, there are more who are celebrating their 40th, their 50th, their 60th wedding anniversaries.
But, should have avoided because it reminds me that what I am looking for doesn't exist in the Bay Area of California...or, if it does, is much harder to find. The man who will love, adore, heck idolize me...while also understanding I need to be kept in check every once in a while, lives on the water in a small town 3000 miles away. And, for the foreseeable future, that is not where I will be.
However, instead of dwelling on being sad, my longtime BFF and I have a plan...one that involves some poor unsuspecting single dad in Mathews. One, who, in high school was the catch and now just needs to be reminded of that by some cute, almost sexy, California Virginia girl. No, he has no idea there is this plot to find him Ms. Wonderful. But, it sure will be fun!
As I was going through security, the TSA agent in Richmond looked at my driver's license and said with a wink "Now that's a beautiful California smile" to which I answered "Thank you, but actually, it is a great Virginia smile, just living in California." Now, don't forget to come back to this page, y'all.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I survived a biker bar....where's my t-shirt?
You know the t-shirts I'm talking about...that tout your ability to ride a scary roller coaster, or white water through some rapids. Well, I completely deserve a t-shirt, a long nap and the venti triple non fat latte I had yesterday...and then some! Let's start first with a little recap of my split personality weekend. It definitely goes down as one for the books.
As the week came to a close on Friday, I was craving a little couch time with my pups, some trashy television and a glass of wine. However, months ago when I signed up the Lemon Drops and Lingerie Party at the school auction I didn't know I'd want my couch so much. So, after much debate, I decided I would go and serve as the designated driver for my group of Mom friends. Yes, this is the same group I worried about serving bourbon soaked brie to...but this time with my one close friend...so figured I could manage. Picture every private school mom image you can come up with...and then add incredibly expensive fancy bras and baby doll dresses. Yeah, Desperate Housewives meets Real Housewives of Northern California. I, of course, managed to pick out one of the most expensive bra and pantie set available but I do think it is adorable! And, I was able to cause quite the stir when it became apparent I wear thong underwear! Scandal!
After doing Mom stuff all day Saturday, I got ready to go out to start celebrating my birth month (yes, I get more than a day...have a problem with that?!) with a group of girlfriends and their husbands. We'd planned on a few drinks at a nice upscale restaurant/bar in town so dressed in the standard Ladies' Night Out attire...low rise jeans, lace camisole and long sweater...with high heeled boots, of course! I guess a time out for a visual is appropriate. For the throngs of readers who don't me...I've been told I look like Elisabeth Shue (just add a size or two)...but during her Cocktail days...not Leaving Las Vegas.
After 2 respectable Cosmos and lots of laughs with friends, we decided to head to the next town to go to a retirement party for a local firefighter. Don't worry, we weren't crashing, one of my friends really was invited. While it was late (I mean after 10!), it is hard to say no to firefighters. So, we loaded into the truck and headed south...The town we went to is known for its eclectic mix of cowboys and bikers, with a few local field workers thrown in. So, yes, when a group of 4 attractive women and one very large intimidating police officer husband, walked into the party, the crowd definitely quieted a bit. It was like those scenes in old westerns when the music stopped playing, the bartender put down the glass and you waited for the duel to start. Okay, maybe not that bad but it was an obvious entrance. We didn't exactly fit in...but we knew several people so stayed and danced for about 30 minutes.
Of course, you take married friends who have escaped their teenage child for the night and they are not ready to go home...which leads us down the street to a biker bar that tried to cater to all walks of life...but one, nonetheless, that truly had a sign thanking the local chapter of the Hell's Angels for their sponsorship. Yeah, pretty sure I wasn't meeting my next date in this establishment. Or at least I really hoped not!! Our group had now grown to include about 4 local firefighters so I was thinking our odds were much better than before. However, I did not stray, for any reason, from the sight of our built in body guard!
One of the ladies we were with had bigger hair than most and kept re-applying her lipstick so she immediately became a target for the glares and cutting eyes from the resident female occupants of the bar. These only got worse when I asked her what she wanted from the bar and she replied "Oh, I only drink lemon drops." To which my response was "Really???? You are having a Corona!" Hello?! Nothing screams spoiled white chick like ordering a sugar crusted rim drink in a bar named after Whiskey! As much as I may have stood out, I do at least know how not to draw attention to myself. I should mention at this point, that the woman in question was actually the old girlfriend of Hot Electrician...seriously, my world is too small!!! But, I was with his sister and his cousins so maybe that is really not that much of a coincidence.
I was just getting ready to chide myself for being nervous when we walked in when our stand in body guard grabbed us all in one fell swoop and led us to the door. Turns out one of our less intelligent firefighters thought it was a good idea to disrespect the man wearing the leather vest that said "El Presidente" ...which signified his importance in the Tortured Souls biker gang. Again, seriously? How in the world was I trying on lingerie with the wives of former NFL players Friday night and now being whisked out of Harley Heaven before a fight broke out. No wonder I just stay home!!!
We ended the evening by going to hot electrician's house...his sister, his cousins, his ex girlfriend...and me, the girl who flirted with him during her Patron induced fit of stupidity! Fortunately, this night I was sober and he was not! After a few hours of silly laughter, several "I love you, Man's" from the drunk testosterone crowd, and a couple of touches I know Hot Electrician wouldn't have made had he been sober, and we finally called it a night/morning.
As I crawled into bed for a few hours of sleep before being Sporty Spice Mom at my son's basketball game, I pulled my dogs close and marveled at the lives people lead. However, I also realized that the adventures I have had just add to my strength, my contentment and my conviction that I am where I'm supposed to be.
So now, after surviving 2 years of living, crying, learning, enjoying I definitely deserve that t-shirt.
As the week came to a close on Friday, I was craving a little couch time with my pups, some trashy television and a glass of wine. However, months ago when I signed up the Lemon Drops and Lingerie Party at the school auction I didn't know I'd want my couch so much. So, after much debate, I decided I would go and serve as the designated driver for my group of Mom friends. Yes, this is the same group I worried about serving bourbon soaked brie to...but this time with my one close friend...so figured I could manage. Picture every private school mom image you can come up with...and then add incredibly expensive fancy bras and baby doll dresses. Yeah, Desperate Housewives meets Real Housewives of Northern California. I, of course, managed to pick out one of the most expensive bra and pantie set available but I do think it is adorable! And, I was able to cause quite the stir when it became apparent I wear thong underwear! Scandal!
After doing Mom stuff all day Saturday, I got ready to go out to start celebrating my birth month (yes, I get more than a day...have a problem with that?!) with a group of girlfriends and their husbands. We'd planned on a few drinks at a nice upscale restaurant/bar in town so dressed in the standard Ladies' Night Out attire...low rise jeans, lace camisole and long sweater...with high heeled boots, of course! I guess a time out for a visual is appropriate. For the throngs of readers who don't me...I've been told I look like Elisabeth Shue (just add a size or two)...but during her Cocktail days...not Leaving Las Vegas.
After 2 respectable Cosmos and lots of laughs with friends, we decided to head to the next town to go to a retirement party for a local firefighter. Don't worry, we weren't crashing, one of my friends really was invited. While it was late (I mean after 10!), it is hard to say no to firefighters. So, we loaded into the truck and headed south...The town we went to is known for its eclectic mix of cowboys and bikers, with a few local field workers thrown in. So, yes, when a group of 4 attractive women and one very large intimidating police officer husband, walked into the party, the crowd definitely quieted a bit. It was like those scenes in old westerns when the music stopped playing, the bartender put down the glass and you waited for the duel to start. Okay, maybe not that bad but it was an obvious entrance. We didn't exactly fit in...but we knew several people so stayed and danced for about 30 minutes.
Of course, you take married friends who have escaped their teenage child for the night and they are not ready to go home...which leads us down the street to a biker bar that tried to cater to all walks of life...but one, nonetheless, that truly had a sign thanking the local chapter of the Hell's Angels for their sponsorship. Yeah, pretty sure I wasn't meeting my next date in this establishment. Or at least I really hoped not!! Our group had now grown to include about 4 local firefighters so I was thinking our odds were much better than before. However, I did not stray, for any reason, from the sight of our built in body guard!
One of the ladies we were with had bigger hair than most and kept re-applying her lipstick so she immediately became a target for the glares and cutting eyes from the resident female occupants of the bar. These only got worse when I asked her what she wanted from the bar and she replied "Oh, I only drink lemon drops." To which my response was "Really???? You are having a Corona!" Hello?! Nothing screams spoiled white chick like ordering a sugar crusted rim drink in a bar named after Whiskey! As much as I may have stood out, I do at least know how not to draw attention to myself. I should mention at this point, that the woman in question was actually the old girlfriend of Hot Electrician...seriously, my world is too small!!! But, I was with his sister and his cousins so maybe that is really not that much of a coincidence.
I was just getting ready to chide myself for being nervous when we walked in when our stand in body guard grabbed us all in one fell swoop and led us to the door. Turns out one of our less intelligent firefighters thought it was a good idea to disrespect the man wearing the leather vest that said "El Presidente" ...which signified his importance in the Tortured Souls biker gang. Again, seriously? How in the world was I trying on lingerie with the wives of former NFL players Friday night and now being whisked out of Harley Heaven before a fight broke out. No wonder I just stay home!!!
We ended the evening by going to hot electrician's house...his sister, his cousins, his ex girlfriend...and me, the girl who flirted with him during her Patron induced fit of stupidity! Fortunately, this night I was sober and he was not! After a few hours of silly laughter, several "I love you, Man's" from the drunk testosterone crowd, and a couple of touches I know Hot Electrician wouldn't have made had he been sober, and we finally called it a night/morning.
As I crawled into bed for a few hours of sleep before being Sporty Spice Mom at my son's basketball game, I pulled my dogs close and marveled at the lives people lead. However, I also realized that the adventures I have had just add to my strength, my contentment and my conviction that I am where I'm supposed to be.
So now, after surviving 2 years of living, crying, learning, enjoying I definitely deserve that t-shirt.
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