He's just not that into you...

There has been a battle waging lately, in the oh so interesting land of my brain, that rivals the Hatfields and McCoys any day of the week.  It is the struggle between patience and perseverance and the hard cold truth that maybe, just maybe, I'm really not all that irresistible and yes, he (substitute name of appropriate guy here) really isn't all that into me. 

I'm usually good at justification; of why someone does something, why I should get away with something, why I need that new pair of shoes (although I've been very aware of my bank account and have pretty much cured myself of the shoe justification).  However, even I have the draw the line at some point.  And, while my pride may take another hit, I need to realize that none of the cuties (or not so cuties) I have mentioned in this blog are pining away over me.  Therefore, I ought not be pining (or even pseudo pining) over them.

Really!  C'mon, Cutie doesn't initiate communication because he doesn't want to...not because his life is busy or as he tells me in our emails, how crazy work is and wow he wishes he had time for a get together.  He isn't a brain surgeon, small business owner or truck driver so yeah, thinking work may be an excuse.  And, seriously, Alex has not spent even half the time thinking about what a mistake he has made as I think he is.  He has moved on...even if it is with the 8th dwarf so not moving very fast.  But moving, nonetheless.  Finally, if the friend's brother had even an inclination of wanting to go out with me, he would have called.  So, I need to accept these facts and again, get over it and take the next steps forward in the right direction.

It isn't as if I don't think I have a lot to offer...not bad for a chick in her early 40's (not Cindy Crawford but don't need a bag over my head either), pretty darned smart, amusing and entertaining...wait, I'm starting to sound like an e-Harmony ad.  What I'm saying is, this isn't a session for me to feel down about myself...it is just a wake up call that the fantasy life and scenarios I can create in my head really aren't reality.  Yeah, what a news flash! 

Bottom line is, while Ben Affleck may have been that into Jennifer Aniston in the movie, in reality, these guys just "aren't that into me"...but the one who is, is out there.

Hot for teacher...

I guess that is a little misleading as I'm not in school, and we're actually talking about a basketball coach but the sentiment just seemed to fit...
Once again my weekends were filled with lazy hours at the beach, being waited on by hot cabana boys and serenaded by gorgeous country singers who just think I'm all that and ten bags of chips...wait, you aren't buying it.  Yeah well, neither am I!  But, I am really not complaining as I love having my kids involved in sports and activities and all the stuff that makes them happy.   However, I also don't mind when those activities have a little hidden bonus for me!

My daughter's basketball team is usually coached by my former husband, but for the last two weeks he has had conflicts so it has been a duty thrust upon the leader of the basketball program.  I tried to substitute at least one time last season and it was so pathetic the older girls who were out on the court came over to save their younger dribbling sisters from complete bball humiliation.  Hey, I was a great basketball cheerleader...I swear! 

Anyhow, I have seen the head of the program on numerous times over the past 2 years, and have always found him on the attractive side...tall, dark hair, and obviously likes sports (and kids!).  But, considering I was completely obsessed with Alex for the better part of those 24 months, never really gave Mr B-ball much more than a passing glance.  Also, it wasn't like he was accidentally throwing the ball my direction to get my attention either.  Although, you can't really blame him since I either come to practice each week with my hair in a pony/baseball hat or I think he assumes I'm still married to Mr. Wonderful.  Either way, we aren't talking instant chemistry.

But, this Saturday I made a point of at least chatting with him more than the obligatory "Hey, how's it going?" and even did the whole smile and make him laugh thing.  And, when I saw him pull up to the gym, he was driving an oversized pick up truck...oh yeah, closet Red Neck!!  C'mon, how can I not at least try to see if this could lead to a dinner or drinks...

So, next Saturday, I will shower, look cute, but not too cute and see if I can't get do my own rendition of "Put me in, Coach."... I'll let you know how it goes.

OCD with a side of neurosis

There is no doubt in my mind (or the minds of anyone around me) that I'm a little "special"...and by special I mean crazy.  Not "One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest" crazy, but a little more like Jack Nicholson's character in "As Good as it Gets"...wow...he's played crazy several times.  Anyhow, yes, I'm a little, hmm..., particular about certain things but really, I think that is just a sign that I like things how I like them, right?  Although, it could also be interfering with me finding someone new...just saying.

Perfect example of how whacked I actually am came earlier this evening as the kids and I were watching "The Middle" on television.  While I'm a much bigger fan of "Modern Family", Katie swears by this show so we watch it as a family and I will admit to laughing out loud at least a few times each episode.  However, those moments of enjoyment are completely overshadowed by the fact I often watch the show with my eyes half closed.  No, it's not scary in the horror film kind of way but more in the "oh my gosh, how can you live in such an unorganized, the carpets aren't straight, kids 1/2 dressed, pig-sty kind of life?".  Seriously, I freak out!  I understand it is a television show, designed to make you laugh but really, for someone with more than the average OCD tendencies, it is just pure torture.

This, of course, got me to thinking...what nut job is going to meet my long list of criteria and still want to go out with me?  I'm crazy!  I personally don't think there is anything majorly wrong with my need to have the money in my wallet be organized from 1's up, face forward, but maybe there are others who might not get it.  And, even my sister, who has been known to break out into cold sweats when the carpets aren't aligned properly, said I was a freak the other day. 

She and I were talking about my list of requirements for the next man in my life and I realized I hadn't added "must be able to spell...even in text messages".  She was floored...but I can't help it, I spend waaayyy too much time making sure my texts, my emails, my status updates are spelled correctly.  If I don't know how to spell it, I will change the word.  I'm not expecting Mr. Hot Stuff to be Einstein (that would bug me) but yes, proper spelling is up there. 

So, along with a dear friend, I've decided to start a new online dating service for smart rednecks only...I, of course, will be the judge of what constitutes the redneck and the smart part will probably be obvious.  Now I just have to come up with a name...Any suggestions?

Things that make you go hmmm...

We all probably remember that song from the late 80's or early 90's...hey, I just know it was right around the time Paula Abdul gave up her Laker girl kicks for some hip hop tunes...but anyhow, it was all about the things in the world that are just a tad questionable.  Well, this post is about those things, plus the things that make you go woohoo, and while I don't swear, the things that make you go WTF as well...and that can be what the french fries.  Although, really, that would be WTFF but you get the idea.

We'll start with those french fries...as y'all know, I'm a big hater of relationship drama...which is one of the reasons I'm not in one now (along with the facts no guy could meet my list of 100+ necessary traits and that my booty still has more junk in the trunk than Janet Jackson EVER had but again, whatever!).  So, why, I ask you, do I have to deal with the drama my former husband and his whacked out (sorry, yes, she's cuckoo for cocoa puffs) continually create in their lives.  Oh yeah, that's right, we share two children whom I love more than life so here I am.  I guess I shouldn't really complain as I was sad As the World Turns went off the air.  Although with Holden and Lily I could fast forward through the nonsense.  Here, not so much...

As we've discussed, Mr. Wonderful and trophy gf have consistency/longevity issues and I guess they were rearing their ugly heads again...and for whatever reason, the GF decided I needed to be a part of them.  I was sitting alone enjoying a very nice glass of wine when my phone made that tell tale "you have a text" tone.  I still jump a little at the tone, wondering/hoping if it is the man of my dreams trying to make contact.  Of course it should go on record that Josh Lucas doesn't have my phone number...but again, details.  Since it wasn't him or anyone else in the hot category, I was still a tad surprised when it was crazy chick apologizing for missing the big kick off event at my house on Sunday.  Of course, the apology came with a huge dig at my former husband for not telling her about it...which completely explains why he showed up 15 minutes before it ended.  While an observer may think she was just being nice, I can promise you after 3 months of not speaking to me and being labeled a drama queen by my mother in law, this had nothing to do with manners.  Really?? If I'm going to deal with relationship drama, shouldn't I at least get dinner out of the deal???

Again, this was a reminder that while I really do miss having "that person" in my life, at least I don't have to deal with this kind of nonsense.  And, it also provided a perfect opportunity for me to realize I don't even remember the last time I texted Alex.  That is definitely progress.  I, of course, still occasionally float by the 8th dwarf's page on FB but that too has ended since she closed her profile again. Which means, nothing incredible is happening in the fairy tale land she created...can't say I'm surprised. So now, no texting him, no FB stalking her...hmm...wow...I may be getting over him. That is something to woohoo about!

And the best woohoo of the week...Fall shows are back!  I can sing to Glee, work out to the Biggest Loser and drool over LL Cool J in NCIS LA...yes, life is good.

Yes, I should have my head examined...

While I have explained I have been out of the blogging sphere loop due to kids' sports, neurotic dogs, heck, the fog, whatever, I did leave out a very important little tid bit, I guess.  Now, as someone who grew up around politics, who works in politics, who married (and then divorced) a politician, one would think I would know better...but, obviously I'm not nearly as smart as I claim to be because I, too, have now entered the world of candidacy and hopefully elected office.

No, don't start picturing Sarah Palin as I'm much more Harper Valley, PTA, but yes, I am hoping to enter the ranks of female elected officials all over the place as a member of the local school board.  However, the whole process of getting elected has turned out to be quite the undertaking.  It isn't as if I didn't know what I was getting into, but really, anything that starts with having my mother, my stepfather, my father and my former (but still current) in-laws in my house for hours on a Sunday afternoon, should truly come with a warning label, a lobotomy and a flask. 

I knew it was going to be interesting when I started carting in platter after platter of catered dishes and my mother commented "Well, I told you I'd make something...why all the food?".  She doesn't understand overdoing it...which is a staple in my dad's side of the family...where our motto is "Go big or stay home".  She just pursed her lips, mumbling about what it was like as a single mom having to walk both ways up hill to the grocery store with bags on her head (or something like that).  Considering I had to make remarks about being a good advocate for children and what not, I was avoiding alcohol until it was over, so I just had to make do with counting to 10 when I saw my dad pull in.  Oh joy...let the games begin.

Considering my dad makes small talk for a living, I knew he'd be overly polite but avoid my mom as much as possible.  She, of course, can't handle that and made a beeline for him the moment he walked in.  Fortunately my mother-in-law has played this game with us before so she ran interference, practically tripping my mom with her cane to keep her away from him.  Well, maybe it wasn't that violent, but she did play her part well until more people arrived to provide buffers. And, for someone who isn't big on worlds colliding, I had them all going on...parents, in laws, former husbands...had you thrown in a few old boyfriends (who actually RSVP'd but couldn't make it) we could have had our own Jerry Springer show.

But, we all survived and I will be eating leftover food for the next 10 days...but that is okay because I went big!

Sad note of the day

First, I am so sorry I have not written lately and wish I could blame it on a spur of the moment trip to a tropical island with a single version of Taye Diggs, but alas, no...it is just the crazy life of a mom of two.  Wow...that sounds incredibly lame.  But, for all of you out there who know what that means, you totally get me and are feeling my pain.  Okay, maybe not...I know I hate the I'm soooo busy excuse.  So, I vow to at least write every other day; even if my posts are short and sweet...and about pretty much nothing.  At least we'll be doing "nothing" together.

So anyhow, my sad note of the day...and before you worry that I really have turned into the crazy cat lady who spends her life trying to get home to watch whatever brain trash shows she has DVR'd this week, just chill!  For years (and by years I mean since before buying my first bra) I've been a fan of As the World Turns...yes the soap opera.  I would take a hiatus every now and then when I would realize I was looking for Holden and Lily on the street or when conversations about them actually sounded as if I thought they were real people.  Now, I was never really that bad but I did have a few years where life just didn't cooperate with me watching my soaps so I took a break.  But, for the most part, for almost 30 years I have lived with, cared about, sympathized with and sometimes fantasized about the residents of Oakdale, Illinois.They provided an escape or a trip toward a reality where daily drama was the norm...and appreciated. Where star crossed lovers ALWAYS ended up together...and where, life never just consisted of home and work.  Actually, for that matter, you hardly ever saw any of the characters work...just wreak havoc. 

Unfortunately, too many people are now working during the day and the daytime talk shows are all the rage (ugh).  So, ATWT is saying its goodbyes and I have to admit, this has hit me pretty hard.  I liked being able to ride my bike to nowhere while catching up on the activities of my favorite heroes and heroines. But, if I'm being honest, this is probably not a truly bad thing for my life.  Maybe I have been living my life waiting for my version of Jack or Holden or Dusty to enter my world and take care of me.  This is probably a good reminder that they just live in my television...not in my neighborhood.

I'm finally getting to the place in my life where I am able to see that my life without Alex is actually not a horrible thing. I'm able to think about the bad times and stop myself from texting him (I'm going on 3 weeks right now so cha-ching!!).  And, I have made myself think the Alex I knew and loved, actually doesn't exist anymore...and while it happened in Oakdale ALL the time, he's not actually going to come back from the "dead" and live happily ever after with me.  All realizations that have taken me months and very non Lily Snyder moments to realize. 

But, while the rational side of me knows it is just a soap opera and has no effect on my life, the very nostalgic emotional side of me is going to set aside an hour, a box of tissues and my favorite comfy clothes to say goodbye to my friends of Oakdale....

Whirlwind Weekend

Well, after 3 days of family fun, another wedding, 4 runs of the dishwasher, 5 loads of laundry and lots of trips to the recycling cans with empty wine bottles, I can say it was not a bad weekend after all.  There were plenty of moments where I was reaching for anything that even remotely resembled alcohol but didn't need the prescription medication so I call that a win!  And, as I sat on my couch last night watching college football I was once again content with my life, which is definitely a good thing!

As the airport is actually quite near Cutie's office, we actually arranged for a quick hi on my way up. It was actually a lot of fun BUT also a very good reminder that he is young...and really, I'm past having to worry about dealing with a guy's immaturity level.  While I know older guys can have their Beevis and Butthead moments, I don't need one who is still finding his way through life and all of its emotional roller coasters.  With a son about to reach puberty, I will have plenty of that already.  However, good kisses are never a bad thing...And since drinking and driving is so frowned upon, it was a good coping mechanism as I braced myself for the East Coast arrivals.

While the appearance of her attention getting neck brace nearly had me turning the car around, she saw me right away and met me with a smile so wide, I was struck with a stab of guilt for ever dreading this visit.  But, I was completely exonerated when 5 minutes into the trip she was haranguing my step-father for forgetting some incredibly trivial fact he probably never knew in the first place.  As we drove south toward home and a very large glass of wine, I reminded myself reinforcements would arrive in 12 hours!  And then, buffers of all kinds could be employed.  And, no, I'm not above sacrificing my children for my sanity as she really is much better to them...or because children are more resilient...whatever works!

And really, the weekend went exceptionally well.  Having a houseful of people who, for the most part, have known you your entire life and love you anyhow, is pretty incredible.  We had 3 generations of several families together, laughing about old times, sharing secrets and remembering why we choose to spend our lives close to one another. That type of history can't be replaced...and it is why we forgive the craziness that accompanies family. 

So now, back to life full of kids' sports, work, daily activities...but once again, I really am okay with all of that because it just continues to show me I'm heading in the right direction...even if I do veer away from my GPS instructions every once in a while.

Hurricane preparedness - West Coast style

Half of my heart, and therefore close family and friends, live on the East Coast and know what it means to prepare for a Hurricane or severe storm.  Not the ones you need to evacuate to weather (no pun intended) but the power will probably go out, you'll be home for a few days, cause cabin fever kind of days.  For most people, the emergency survival kits contain the essentials: flashlight, batteries, canned and dry goods, etc...things that you would need if you had to rough it for a few days.  Well, for my family, it would contain all of that plus a few cases of Diet Coke, Jack Daniels, and the fixings for dirty martinis. Our philosophy is, one does not need to give up cocktail hour just because a storm blew into town.

Obviously, hurricanes are not too prevalent on the West Coast so why would I need to prepare for one?  Because, not all storms are tracked by Al Roker or the Weather Channel.  My storm will be arriving from Maine via Delta this evening, awaiting a curbside pick up at the airport. Yes, my mother is coming back to CA for the winter...And, don't worry, my survival kit is packed with all the essentials...tequila, margarita mix, wine, JD, and did I mention wine?

Part of me does feel bad because she is an incredible grandmother...and, at times, really does try to be a good mom.  But, after 4 months of Facebook comments about how life in CA sucks and we should all move to her little coastal town of 12 people, on top of all the other status updates, my quota of nice has been used up!  Fortunately, reinforcements arrive tomorrow when 20 other family members arrive for a backyard barbecue...with more alcohol, of course.    All of this in preparation for the wedding I mentioned earlier in the week. These festivities will keep me a little busy for the next few days but promise to update y'all on the family fun later in the weekend.

For now, hope Hurricane Earl has missed your neck of the woods...and that you don't have your own 2 legged storm blowing in either.