So, as much as I agree with the experts that say having a good relationship with my former spouse is incredibly beneficial for our children, at times I want to throw the entire healthy divorce concept out the nearest window (or at his head!).
The trouble is I am constantly reminded why we are no longer married, and I while I can seek solace in my own home with my dogs and a glass of wine, I no longer really have the luxury of telling him how I feel. If we were married, while frowned upon, we could argue or fight about an issue. I could tell him he was being selfish and contrary to the opinion of his overly large ego, it isn’t always about him.
But, we aren’t married (and, as you can tell, for good reason) and fighting with your former spouse is unhealthy and counter-productive (pretty sure that was the case when we were married too). So instead I endure a 45 minute conversation where he complained about this person or that, how far away our son’s basketball game is, how no one listened to his opinion and how he may as well just go have a glass of wine with friends after he drops off our daughter with me and our son at basketball practice (after lamenting that our daughter has commented about no time with him). Because I couldn’t say in a very sweet voice “Get over yourself you egotistical dingbat” I am now inhaling jelly beans and peanuts. The combination of which, while making me feel a little less homicidal, is erasing the 5 am visit to the gym this morning. Maybe that is why his current girlfriend lives at the gym! Actually, as she is no rocket scientist, I’m pretty sure his rants don’t faze her.
How is it that by divorcing him I lost the right to be mad at him? Pretty sure I don’t remember signing that agreement!
However, now that the sugar has shocked my system, I can think a little more clearly and admit, no amount of being able to be mad would entice me to be married to him ever again so I guess this is a small price to pay. I just better plan on lots more 5 am wake up calls!
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