Since I consider any of you who take the time to read my ramblings about my insane life, my friends, you might as well take part in our Operation Mathews (that isn’t the official name but I am protecting the poor unsuspecting innocent here). You can chime in with thoughts, suggestions or now that you know geographic location is not on my ever growing list, you can come up with a name or two yourself. I mean, why not?!
First, this whole being set up thing is a lot harder as we grow. What ever happened to your friend telling the guy Du Jour that you thought he was cute? Then during the next bell break, you two are going together. Granted, now as a mom, when my 6th grade son says Billy & Suzie are together I ask the same annoying question my mom asked me “together how?” Fortunately, I am, of course, much cooler than my mom was so we laugh and move on. (Hey, it’s my story so I’m again telling it how I want!)
Also, the current subject of our plot doesn’t want to make life easy by having a Facebook page. Then I could just drop cute witty little comments accompanied by my smiling face and alas he’d be smitten. Since he doesn’t have the page I can pretty much just assume that is how it would happen! I think there is a county wide petition being signed to get him to join but as of yet I haven’t gotten the very important friend request.
Of course, we have enlisted assistants in our plot through the incredible heart of my BFF’s husband. I’m sure part of his participation is based solely on his desire to see me happy but, I also suspect he could be motivated by the thought if I meet someone there, his wife will have less reason to want to fly 3000 miles to see me! Hey, I don’t care the reason, I’m just happy we have a little testosterone on our side. Although, that also does come with the need to be patient. Not exactly my strong suit…big shocker!
I guess he isn’t quite comfortable with the whole “So, I’ve got this girl (okay very mature girl) who I want to set you up with. Let’s see, she’s attractive (I don’t think I can claim hot), funny, smart, loves sports….and, oh yeah, she lives in California” conversation. Maybe we could help him with this one.
And, before you start to worry that I’ve become obsessed with this plan/plot…yes, I have! But, it is keeping me from venturing into the never to be visited again on-line world of dating and, more importantly, keeping me from texting Alex. Yes, after almost 2 years I still have to stop myself. I just keep hoping that the man who fits all the qualities on my list will make it so I can finally close that chapter once and for all.
So, for any of my Virginia reading friends, yes…feel free to chime in. For all of my CA friends, don’t worry, I’m not moving any time soon…just plan on racking up some frequent flier miles.
Tuesday, March 15, 2011
Monday, March 14, 2011
Home is where the heart is...
That phrase adorns needlepointed pillows, hearth decorated wall plaques and kitchen stencils all over America. We've all heard it, we've all said it but until recently I didn't really realize how it has dominated my life.
Yes, my kids are my world...my rock...my true center of being and with them, I am home. However, there is something, and it is something I can not truly explain that happens when I cross the county line in Mathews County, Virginia and I am truly home. It isn't just because the town has withstood the tests of time and I can still find my way around after 25 years...nor is it that the best friend I've ever known still lives there with her family...nor is it even that it has some of the most beautiful coast lines I've ever seen. It is because my shoulders ease up every time I hear someone say "what can I get y'all". It is because you'll never meet a stranger. It is because when I call someone honey or darlin' or sweetie, it is common place. It is because people there truly know me and love me. It is because it is home.
After much consternation and finally blackmail by my 11 year old son, I made a visit there a week ago. It was exactly what this heart both needed and should have avoided. Needed because I was reminded of what I am looking for in life, what is important, a place where hard work, loyalty, family all mean something. Where, while it isn't perfect and marriages still fall apart, there are more who are celebrating their 40th, their 50th, their 60th wedding anniversaries.
But, should have avoided because it reminds me that what I am looking for doesn't exist in the Bay Area of California...or, if it does, is much harder to find. The man who will love, adore, heck idolize me...while also understanding I need to be kept in check every once in a while, lives on the water in a small town 3000 miles away. And, for the foreseeable future, that is not where I will be.
However, instead of dwelling on being sad, my longtime BFF and I have a plan...one that involves some poor unsuspecting single dad in Mathews. One, who, in high school was the catch and now just needs to be reminded of that by some cute, almost sexy, California Virginia girl. No, he has no idea there is this plot to find him Ms. Wonderful. But, it sure will be fun!
As I was going through security, the TSA agent in Richmond looked at my driver's license and said with a wink "Now that's a beautiful California smile" to which I answered "Thank you, but actually, it is a great Virginia smile, just living in California." Now, don't forget to come back to this page, y'all.
Yes, my kids are my world...my rock...my true center of being and with them, I am home. However, there is something, and it is something I can not truly explain that happens when I cross the county line in Mathews County, Virginia and I am truly home. It isn't just because the town has withstood the tests of time and I can still find my way around after 25 years...nor is it that the best friend I've ever known still lives there with her family...nor is it even that it has some of the most beautiful coast lines I've ever seen. It is because my shoulders ease up every time I hear someone say "what can I get y'all". It is because you'll never meet a stranger. It is because when I call someone honey or darlin' or sweetie, it is common place. It is because people there truly know me and love me. It is because it is home.
After much consternation and finally blackmail by my 11 year old son, I made a visit there a week ago. It was exactly what this heart both needed and should have avoided. Needed because I was reminded of what I am looking for in life, what is important, a place where hard work, loyalty, family all mean something. Where, while it isn't perfect and marriages still fall apart, there are more who are celebrating their 40th, their 50th, their 60th wedding anniversaries.
But, should have avoided because it reminds me that what I am looking for doesn't exist in the Bay Area of California...or, if it does, is much harder to find. The man who will love, adore, heck idolize me...while also understanding I need to be kept in check every once in a while, lives on the water in a small town 3000 miles away. And, for the foreseeable future, that is not where I will be.
However, instead of dwelling on being sad, my longtime BFF and I have a plan...one that involves some poor unsuspecting single dad in Mathews. One, who, in high school was the catch and now just needs to be reminded of that by some cute, almost sexy, California Virginia girl. No, he has no idea there is this plot to find him Ms. Wonderful. But, it sure will be fun!
As I was going through security, the TSA agent in Richmond looked at my driver's license and said with a wink "Now that's a beautiful California smile" to which I answered "Thank you, but actually, it is a great Virginia smile, just living in California." Now, don't forget to come back to this page, y'all.
Monday, February 7, 2011
I survived a biker bar....where's my t-shirt?
You know the t-shirts I'm talking about...that tout your ability to ride a scary roller coaster, or white water through some rapids. Well, I completely deserve a t-shirt, a long nap and the venti triple non fat latte I had yesterday...and then some! Let's start first with a little recap of my split personality weekend. It definitely goes down as one for the books.
As the week came to a close on Friday, I was craving a little couch time with my pups, some trashy television and a glass of wine. However, months ago when I signed up the Lemon Drops and Lingerie Party at the school auction I didn't know I'd want my couch so much. So, after much debate, I decided I would go and serve as the designated driver for my group of Mom friends. Yes, this is the same group I worried about serving bourbon soaked brie to...but this time with my one close friend...so figured I could manage. Picture every private school mom image you can come up with...and then add incredibly expensive fancy bras and baby doll dresses. Yeah, Desperate Housewives meets Real Housewives of Northern California. I, of course, managed to pick out one of the most expensive bra and pantie set available but I do think it is adorable! And, I was able to cause quite the stir when it became apparent I wear thong underwear! Scandal!
After doing Mom stuff all day Saturday, I got ready to go out to start celebrating my birth month (yes, I get more than a day...have a problem with that?!) with a group of girlfriends and their husbands. We'd planned on a few drinks at a nice upscale restaurant/bar in town so dressed in the standard Ladies' Night Out attire...low rise jeans, lace camisole and long sweater...with high heeled boots, of course! I guess a time out for a visual is appropriate. For the throngs of readers who don't me...I've been told I look like Elisabeth Shue (just add a size or two)...but during her Cocktail days...not Leaving Las Vegas.
After 2 respectable Cosmos and lots of laughs with friends, we decided to head to the next town to go to a retirement party for a local firefighter. Don't worry, we weren't crashing, one of my friends really was invited. While it was late (I mean after 10!), it is hard to say no to firefighters. So, we loaded into the truck and headed south...The town we went to is known for its eclectic mix of cowboys and bikers, with a few local field workers thrown in. So, yes, when a group of 4 attractive women and one very large intimidating police officer husband, walked into the party, the crowd definitely quieted a bit. It was like those scenes in old westerns when the music stopped playing, the bartender put down the glass and you waited for the duel to start. Okay, maybe not that bad but it was an obvious entrance. We didn't exactly fit in...but we knew several people so stayed and danced for about 30 minutes.
Of course, you take married friends who have escaped their teenage child for the night and they are not ready to go home...which leads us down the street to a biker bar that tried to cater to all walks of life...but one, nonetheless, that truly had a sign thanking the local chapter of the Hell's Angels for their sponsorship. Yeah, pretty sure I wasn't meeting my next date in this establishment. Or at least I really hoped not!! Our group had now grown to include about 4 local firefighters so I was thinking our odds were much better than before. However, I did not stray, for any reason, from the sight of our built in body guard!
One of the ladies we were with had bigger hair than most and kept re-applying her lipstick so she immediately became a target for the glares and cutting eyes from the resident female occupants of the bar. These only got worse when I asked her what she wanted from the bar and she replied "Oh, I only drink lemon drops." To which my response was "Really???? You are having a Corona!" Hello?! Nothing screams spoiled white chick like ordering a sugar crusted rim drink in a bar named after Whiskey! As much as I may have stood out, I do at least know how not to draw attention to myself. I should mention at this point, that the woman in question was actually the old girlfriend of Hot Electrician...seriously, my world is too small!!! But, I was with his sister and his cousins so maybe that is really not that much of a coincidence.
I was just getting ready to chide myself for being nervous when we walked in when our stand in body guard grabbed us all in one fell swoop and led us to the door. Turns out one of our less intelligent firefighters thought it was a good idea to disrespect the man wearing the leather vest that said "El Presidente" ...which signified his importance in the Tortured Souls biker gang. Again, seriously? How in the world was I trying on lingerie with the wives of former NFL players Friday night and now being whisked out of Harley Heaven before a fight broke out. No wonder I just stay home!!!
We ended the evening by going to hot electrician's house...his sister, his cousins, his ex girlfriend...and me, the girl who flirted with him during her Patron induced fit of stupidity! Fortunately, this night I was sober and he was not! After a few hours of silly laughter, several "I love you, Man's" from the drunk testosterone crowd, and a couple of touches I know Hot Electrician wouldn't have made had he been sober, and we finally called it a night/morning.
As I crawled into bed for a few hours of sleep before being Sporty Spice Mom at my son's basketball game, I pulled my dogs close and marveled at the lives people lead. However, I also realized that the adventures I have had just add to my strength, my contentment and my conviction that I am where I'm supposed to be.
So now, after surviving 2 years of living, crying, learning, enjoying I definitely deserve that t-shirt.
As the week came to a close on Friday, I was craving a little couch time with my pups, some trashy television and a glass of wine. However, months ago when I signed up the Lemon Drops and Lingerie Party at the school auction I didn't know I'd want my couch so much. So, after much debate, I decided I would go and serve as the designated driver for my group of Mom friends. Yes, this is the same group I worried about serving bourbon soaked brie to...but this time with my one close friend...so figured I could manage. Picture every private school mom image you can come up with...and then add incredibly expensive fancy bras and baby doll dresses. Yeah, Desperate Housewives meets Real Housewives of Northern California. I, of course, managed to pick out one of the most expensive bra and pantie set available but I do think it is adorable! And, I was able to cause quite the stir when it became apparent I wear thong underwear! Scandal!
After doing Mom stuff all day Saturday, I got ready to go out to start celebrating my birth month (yes, I get more than a day...have a problem with that?!) with a group of girlfriends and their husbands. We'd planned on a few drinks at a nice upscale restaurant/bar in town so dressed in the standard Ladies' Night Out attire...low rise jeans, lace camisole and long sweater...with high heeled boots, of course! I guess a time out for a visual is appropriate. For the throngs of readers who don't me...I've been told I look like Elisabeth Shue (just add a size or two)...but during her Cocktail days...not Leaving Las Vegas.
After 2 respectable Cosmos and lots of laughs with friends, we decided to head to the next town to go to a retirement party for a local firefighter. Don't worry, we weren't crashing, one of my friends really was invited. While it was late (I mean after 10!), it is hard to say no to firefighters. So, we loaded into the truck and headed south...The town we went to is known for its eclectic mix of cowboys and bikers, with a few local field workers thrown in. So, yes, when a group of 4 attractive women and one very large intimidating police officer husband, walked into the party, the crowd definitely quieted a bit. It was like those scenes in old westerns when the music stopped playing, the bartender put down the glass and you waited for the duel to start. Okay, maybe not that bad but it was an obvious entrance. We didn't exactly fit in...but we knew several people so stayed and danced for about 30 minutes.
Of course, you take married friends who have escaped their teenage child for the night and they are not ready to go home...which leads us down the street to a biker bar that tried to cater to all walks of life...but one, nonetheless, that truly had a sign thanking the local chapter of the Hell's Angels for their sponsorship. Yeah, pretty sure I wasn't meeting my next date in this establishment. Or at least I really hoped not!! Our group had now grown to include about 4 local firefighters so I was thinking our odds were much better than before. However, I did not stray, for any reason, from the sight of our built in body guard!
One of the ladies we were with had bigger hair than most and kept re-applying her lipstick so she immediately became a target for the glares and cutting eyes from the resident female occupants of the bar. These only got worse when I asked her what she wanted from the bar and she replied "Oh, I only drink lemon drops." To which my response was "Really???? You are having a Corona!" Hello?! Nothing screams spoiled white chick like ordering a sugar crusted rim drink in a bar named after Whiskey! As much as I may have stood out, I do at least know how not to draw attention to myself. I should mention at this point, that the woman in question was actually the old girlfriend of Hot Electrician...seriously, my world is too small!!! But, I was with his sister and his cousins so maybe that is really not that much of a coincidence.
I was just getting ready to chide myself for being nervous when we walked in when our stand in body guard grabbed us all in one fell swoop and led us to the door. Turns out one of our less intelligent firefighters thought it was a good idea to disrespect the man wearing the leather vest that said "El Presidente" ...which signified his importance in the Tortured Souls biker gang. Again, seriously? How in the world was I trying on lingerie with the wives of former NFL players Friday night and now being whisked out of Harley Heaven before a fight broke out. No wonder I just stay home!!!
We ended the evening by going to hot electrician's house...his sister, his cousins, his ex girlfriend...and me, the girl who flirted with him during her Patron induced fit of stupidity! Fortunately, this night I was sober and he was not! After a few hours of silly laughter, several "I love you, Man's" from the drunk testosterone crowd, and a couple of touches I know Hot Electrician wouldn't have made had he been sober, and we finally called it a night/morning.
As I crawled into bed for a few hours of sleep before being Sporty Spice Mom at my son's basketball game, I pulled my dogs close and marveled at the lives people lead. However, I also realized that the adventures I have had just add to my strength, my contentment and my conviction that I am where I'm supposed to be.
So now, after surviving 2 years of living, crying, learning, enjoying I definitely deserve that t-shirt.
Monday, January 31, 2011
Is there relationship Karma?
On my drive home tonight I really started to wonder if there is some sort of relationship god (like in Greek mythology) with a scorecard tallying the relationship screw ups I have had before allowing me to really move on with someone else. No, tonight wasn't a disaster...it wasn't even bad...it just was. Cute Dad was just as nice in person and he was in texts...and will make someone very happy some day...that someone just won't be me. (Insert my daughter's voice saying I'm too picky).
But really, is there someone keeping score saying that I've not exactly been the nicest break up artist there was, so maybe I am not ready to meet Mr. Meets All 109 of My List of Must Haves. If so, it makes sense...let's look at my track record...I break up with my long term college boyfriend in a Holiday Inn in Barstow, Ca...during an earthquake! I leave my husband (not entirely my fault but I am the one who actually said the word, divorce) and I do the How Fast Can One Move Out game show on Alex while he was gone (again, he WAS cheating on me but maybe the way I left scored points for him). There was the high school boyfriend who ended up naming his daughter the exact same name as me...that must mean I wasn't that bad to him, right?! Either that or he really was a little obsessed. Okay, never mind that example. Erase that one from the score card! Who knows?!
What I do know is I had a very enjoyable dinner with an extremely nice man who just did not do it for me. And, I knew it the minute he sat down. No, it wasn't that he wasn't tall...I can get over that. Nor was it the fact he uses online dating (Hello!?! that is how I met him...) and has more than once. Nor was it a few other little physical things that I noticed...because he truly isn't bad to look at...Nor was it the fact that I know way too much about his "ex" (how he referred to her every time) for a first date. It was all of it....The fact that I had the nerve to think about Alex the whole way to the restaurant. The fact that I really am truly looking for the man I described several posts ago. I don't think he's fiction...I really don't believe he is the lore of old country music songs. I just know he is not someone I am ever going to find on anything that ends with .com. And, as I said to my sister, if it feels like work on the first date, it is never going to get easier. I don't want to have to work at something new...Maybe it is me...maybe I'm not "all that" anymore...maybe I'm just "that"...but I do think there's a little pom pom still in this old cheerleader.
I have had enough serious relationships to know right away what works for me...someone with a strong back bone, calloused hands but a good heart. Someone who is smart enough to spell his texts correctly, while he's driving his John Deere. Someone who loves me unconditionally but certainly doesn't let me know that right away. Someone who I can respect, love, laugh with, admire, find hot but who also likes nights with the guys, who will yet at the TV screen during sports...and who I look forward to bringing a cold beer.
It may sound incredibly lame...and like a bad episode of Real Housewives...but at almost 42, I'm not settling for anything less. So, if there is a score keeper up there can we just call it even, please? I don't even need to win...a tie just means the slate is clean & I can move on.
But really, is there someone keeping score saying that I've not exactly been the nicest break up artist there was, so maybe I am not ready to meet Mr. Meets All 109 of My List of Must Haves. If so, it makes sense...let's look at my track record...I break up with my long term college boyfriend in a Holiday Inn in Barstow, Ca...during an earthquake! I leave my husband (not entirely my fault but I am the one who actually said the word, divorce) and I do the How Fast Can One Move Out game show on Alex while he was gone (again, he WAS cheating on me but maybe the way I left scored points for him). There was the high school boyfriend who ended up naming his daughter the exact same name as me...that must mean I wasn't that bad to him, right?! Either that or he really was a little obsessed. Okay, never mind that example. Erase that one from the score card! Who knows?!
What I do know is I had a very enjoyable dinner with an extremely nice man who just did not do it for me. And, I knew it the minute he sat down. No, it wasn't that he wasn't tall...I can get over that. Nor was it the fact he uses online dating (Hello!?! that is how I met him...) and has more than once. Nor was it a few other little physical things that I noticed...because he truly isn't bad to look at...Nor was it the fact that I know way too much about his "ex" (how he referred to her every time) for a first date. It was all of it....The fact that I had the nerve to think about Alex the whole way to the restaurant. The fact that I really am truly looking for the man I described several posts ago. I don't think he's fiction...I really don't believe he is the lore of old country music songs. I just know he is not someone I am ever going to find on anything that ends with .com. And, as I said to my sister, if it feels like work on the first date, it is never going to get easier. I don't want to have to work at something new...Maybe it is me...maybe I'm not "all that" anymore...maybe I'm just "that"...but I do think there's a little pom pom still in this old cheerleader.
I have had enough serious relationships to know right away what works for me...someone with a strong back bone, calloused hands but a good heart. Someone who is smart enough to spell his texts correctly, while he's driving his John Deere. Someone who loves me unconditionally but certainly doesn't let me know that right away. Someone who I can respect, love, laugh with, admire, find hot but who also likes nights with the guys, who will yet at the TV screen during sports...and who I look forward to bringing a cold beer.
It may sound incredibly lame...and like a bad episode of Real Housewives...but at almost 42, I'm not settling for anything less. So, if there is a score keeper up there can we just call it even, please? I don't even need to win...a tie just means the slate is clean & I can move on.
It's just dinner!!
I have a great knack for talking myself out of something (or someone) if I have second thoughts. This skill is great for my check book as I can easily talk myself out of a purchase of new shoes, clothes, jelly beans…but not so great for non existent love life! However, I am not allowing myself to ruin what could be a very enjoyable dinner just because I’m becoming too content with my couch, kids and dogs! You know how you feel when you are starving and then you wait too long to eat so you’re not hungry anymore…that is kind of how I am getting to feel about dating. It has been 18 months since I left Alex and I am thinking my figurative stomach is shrinking (too bad my actual stomach is not) and I just am losing interest in the whole meeting someone scene!
But, like I said, mind over matter today! Why today, you might ask…because tonight is dinner with Cute Dad. Yes, I’m actually meeting someone I “found” online. In the whole week I let myself venture into the crazy world of internet dating, as I mentioned, one man did catch my eye. Attractive, has a job, loves his kids, drives a truck, spells correctly, likes sports, did I mention spells correctly…and has made me laugh numerous times with his funny texts and emails. In a moment of sheer insanity, we decided to meet for dinner…on a Monday night. It is truly the only night of the week one of us doesn’t have our kids…not exactly a good sign for future dates…but hey, I’m happy if I get through this one.
Since he lives 70+ miles away, we are meeting sort of half way…well, it is longer for me but that is because closer would have meant a dive truck stop that doubles as a petting zoo. Yeah, pretty sure that doesn’t meet any of my criteria for a suitable dining establishment. So, Chili’s it is tonight…casual atmosphere…with basketball on in the bar in case conversation is stilted. Yes, thought has gone into the evening.
Outfit (oh my gosh, this is killing me…now I have to decide what to wear!!)…consists of black shirt, grey sweater, black leggings, high heeled black boots and fun jewelry… Going to hope for dim lighting as I need to get my roots done but that is so not happening before 7:00 tonight. I’m almost 42, there are gray hairs trying to peek through…but maybe they blend in with my blonde…really, do you now see why I talk myself out of things?!
As much as I enjoy spending time with my kids and my dogs, I don’t really think I want to be alone forever…and while I’m certainly not planning on spending my life with someone I haven’t even met yet, I’m looking at this as a step. A step toward getting back out into the world. A step toward smiling at cute basketball coach more often. A step toward seeing if Hot Electrician wants to go out for drinks. A step toward more time on my exercise bike.
And, while a part of me was worried that going out to dinner with someone new at the same time I was having conversations with Mr. Oklahoma would categorize me as a slut…pretty sure the fact I haven’t had sex in…well, forever…pretty much rules out that title.
Okay, it is going to be fun…and really…it is just dinner!!
But, like I said, mind over matter today! Why today, you might ask…because tonight is dinner with Cute Dad. Yes, I’m actually meeting someone I “found” online. In the whole week I let myself venture into the crazy world of internet dating, as I mentioned, one man did catch my eye. Attractive, has a job, loves his kids, drives a truck, spells correctly, likes sports, did I mention spells correctly…and has made me laugh numerous times with his funny texts and emails. In a moment of sheer insanity, we decided to meet for dinner…on a Monday night. It is truly the only night of the week one of us doesn’t have our kids…not exactly a good sign for future dates…but hey, I’m happy if I get through this one.
Since he lives 70+ miles away, we are meeting sort of half way…well, it is longer for me but that is because closer would have meant a dive truck stop that doubles as a petting zoo. Yeah, pretty sure that doesn’t meet any of my criteria for a suitable dining establishment. So, Chili’s it is tonight…casual atmosphere…with basketball on in the bar in case conversation is stilted. Yes, thought has gone into the evening.
Outfit (oh my gosh, this is killing me…now I have to decide what to wear!!)…consists of black shirt, grey sweater, black leggings, high heeled black boots and fun jewelry… Going to hope for dim lighting as I need to get my roots done but that is so not happening before 7:00 tonight. I’m almost 42, there are gray hairs trying to peek through…but maybe they blend in with my blonde…really, do you now see why I talk myself out of things?!
As much as I enjoy spending time with my kids and my dogs, I don’t really think I want to be alone forever…and while I’m certainly not planning on spending my life with someone I haven’t even met yet, I’m looking at this as a step. A step toward getting back out into the world. A step toward smiling at cute basketball coach more often. A step toward seeing if Hot Electrician wants to go out for drinks. A step toward more time on my exercise bike.
And, while a part of me was worried that going out to dinner with someone new at the same time I was having conversations with Mr. Oklahoma would categorize me as a slut…pretty sure the fact I haven’t had sex in…well, forever…pretty much rules out that title.
Okay, it is going to be fun…and really…it is just dinner!!
Tuesday, January 18, 2011
Thoughts from me on a Tuesday afternoon
So, I have completely reverted to a 15 year old girl…but in a time that had cell phones and texting. Which, to be sure, is not when I grew up. We still only had to dial the last four numbers as there weren’t that many phones. And, we found out if a guy liked us by having our best friend ask his best friend in homeroom…we didn’t have to decipher idk, if he’s in2u to mean I don’t know if he’s into you…lol was the beginning of lollipop and we certainly had to wait a lot longer as writing in bubble letters is much more time consuming than texting with your thumbs.
Okay, okay, back to me…jeesh, that is what this blog is about anyhow! First, before I dazzle you with all incredibly interesting excitement in my life (yeah, yeah, we are talking about me so hold your excitement in check a little bit), I have to share with you why my life is so amazing…guy or not. My 8 year old daughter is a hoot, a full on walking firecracker but one who has a flair for the dramatic. As you all know, I’m the no drama mama so we live in a drama free zone. My line to her is “unless there is more blood than a band-aid can contain or an actual bone sticking out, I don’t want the tears”…and it gets used quite often. Last week, as the crocodile tears started to bubble over who knows what, I quoted my line…to which her response was “But, Momma, there is blood in my heart”, complete with sigh and hand gestures. Yes, this is why I’m happy all the time!
But on the ever so interesting saga of my non existent dating life, I closed up my online profile. Yes, I know I only lasted a week. But, sorry, I just couldn’t do it. The thought that some of these guys were seeing my picture and then sending me notes was more than I could handle. One of them actually sent 3 paragraphs full of dancing emoticons. I wanted to write back to see if his mother knew he was on the computer all hours of the night. I was right to think the online world was just not for me. Of course there are exceptions (like me!) and I have been emailing, texting with this incredibly nice man who seems relatively normal. However, he also lives an hour away so for now am content with the fun texts.
There is a good chance Mr. Oklahoma and I might plan a quick weekend visit …or as quick as one can make it across the country but that is also in the planning stages. I’m trying to remind myself to take it just one step at a time…and that not everyone understands my inane ability to just know if something is going to work or not…so really, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
Okay, okay, back to me…jeesh, that is what this blog is about anyhow! First, before I dazzle you with all incredibly interesting excitement in my life (yeah, yeah, we are talking about me so hold your excitement in check a little bit), I have to share with you why my life is so amazing…guy or not. My 8 year old daughter is a hoot, a full on walking firecracker but one who has a flair for the dramatic. As you all know, I’m the no drama mama so we live in a drama free zone. My line to her is “unless there is more blood than a band-aid can contain or an actual bone sticking out, I don’t want the tears”…and it gets used quite often. Last week, as the crocodile tears started to bubble over who knows what, I quoted my line…to which her response was “But, Momma, there is blood in my heart”, complete with sigh and hand gestures. Yes, this is why I’m happy all the time!
But on the ever so interesting saga of my non existent dating life, I closed up my online profile. Yes, I know I only lasted a week. But, sorry, I just couldn’t do it. The thought that some of these guys were seeing my picture and then sending me notes was more than I could handle. One of them actually sent 3 paragraphs full of dancing emoticons. I wanted to write back to see if his mother knew he was on the computer all hours of the night. I was right to think the online world was just not for me. Of course there are exceptions (like me!) and I have been emailing, texting with this incredibly nice man who seems relatively normal. However, he also lives an hour away so for now am content with the fun texts.
There is a good chance Mr. Oklahoma and I might plan a quick weekend visit …or as quick as one can make it across the country but that is also in the planning stages. I’m trying to remind myself to take it just one step at a time…and that not everyone understands my inane ability to just know if something is going to work or not…so really, just sit back, relax and enjoy the ride.
Wednesday, January 12, 2011
I blame it on CBS...
I like to think my vice list is pretty short (and relatively tame) but am still ashamed to admit how happy I get at the thought of sitting down for my dinner (without kids) with a glass of good Cabernet and the boys from Hawaii Five-0...It is one of my easy guilty pleasures. However, tonight, I was to be disappointed as there was not a new one on last night so nothing recorded. So, after finishing my dinner, I was left with idle hands and time. Let's just ignore the fact there is always laundry I could do, floors I could clean, closets to organize...I do plenty of that. Instead, I threw caution to the wind and revisited the never to be visited again world of online dating.
Don't ask me why today was the day...I'd actually been having great text conversations with Mr. Oklahoma, but I think even those made me realize he is 3000 MILES AWAY!!! And, while it was a misprint in the local paper that had me at 45 instead of not even 42 years old, it was enough to remind me I'm not getting any younger. Anyhow, whatever confluences of circumstances had me hitting the Plenty of Fish website were in play and within 20 minutes I had a profile.
And, within 22 minutes I was quickly reminded of why this is not for me. Fortunately, this is a free site so no money was spent on the reminder. While the ego boost of having 4 messages instantly pop up with tag lines like "Wow, you're hot" and "You're cute I want to say hi" gives me a quick adrenalin high, reading the messages further pops that balloon faster than a room full of 4 year olds. Let's just take a peek, shall we at what these men are looking for:
"I'm a down to earth man who appreciates someone who laughs freely.What captures my attention most is a nice smile, well-groomed woman. I am an ambitious, self motivated, educated, well balanced "
"Let me swwep you off your feet"
"Looking for someone who wants to be a peace of my life"
I did not edit for spelling or grammar so as you can tell, wow!! Is this really what is out there? And, just to add insult to injury, pretty sure only a handful were over 6 feet!!
I'm obviously not going to meet the love of my life this way, but for now, we'll just use it for fun fodder for this blog. And, for those interested, yes, Mr. Oklahoma is still just as adorable (at least via 160 characters per text) as I remember as an 18 year old girl.
Don't ask me why today was the day...I'd actually been having great text conversations with Mr. Oklahoma, but I think even those made me realize he is 3000 MILES AWAY!!! And, while it was a misprint in the local paper that had me at 45 instead of not even 42 years old, it was enough to remind me I'm not getting any younger. Anyhow, whatever confluences of circumstances had me hitting the Plenty of Fish website were in play and within 20 minutes I had a profile.
And, within 22 minutes I was quickly reminded of why this is not for me. Fortunately, this is a free site so no money was spent on the reminder. While the ego boost of having 4 messages instantly pop up with tag lines like "Wow, you're hot" and "You're cute I want to say hi" gives me a quick adrenalin high, reading the messages further pops that balloon faster than a room full of 4 year olds. Let's just take a peek, shall we at what these men are looking for:
"I'm a down to earth man who appreciates someone who laughs freely.What captures my attention most is a nice smile, well-groomed woman. I am an ambitious, self motivated, educated, well balanced "
"Let me swwep you off your feet"
"Looking for someone who wants to be a peace of my life"
I did not edit for spelling or grammar so as you can tell, wow!! Is this really what is out there? And, just to add insult to injury, pretty sure only a handful were over 6 feet!!
I'm obviously not going to meet the love of my life this way, but for now, we'll just use it for fun fodder for this blog. And, for those interested, yes, Mr. Oklahoma is still just as adorable (at least via 160 characters per text) as I remember as an 18 year old girl.
Tuesday, January 4, 2011
The softer side of me...
Every once in a while I decide to use my very limited writing ability to share stories that don't involve drinking, family drama or neurosis of any kind...(it happens, I swear!). Here is one poem, childrens' story I wrote a while back for your reading pleasure. Enjoy.
From the top of the rooftops
To the small blades of grass
The fairies all sighed and
Said “Darkness at last”.
They went right to work
With their brushes and wands
And got very busy
In the fields, yards and ponds.
I’ll paint this pink”
Giggled Dottie with glee.
While Alvin yelled happily
“It will be green for me!”
“What shall we do with this one?”
Asked Susie with a frown?
“I think,” said Bug, “it shall be
Yellow & red with a trunk of brown.”
“We like that idea”
Said the fairies as one
And worked even harder to
Beat the slow rising sun.
“We better get painting”
Said the head fairy boss
As he touched up one last flower
With a small dab of gloss.
And just as the sun peaked
Over the hill
The fairies all huddled against
The early morning chill.
“Did we finish them all?”
“Are the colors just right?”
“Let’s take a quick look
At our work of last night.”
From the fields of green grass
To the mountains of gold
The fairies all watched
The beauty of Spring unfold.
From the top of the rooftops
To the small blades of grass
The fairies all sighed and
Said “Darkness at last”.
They went right to work
With their brushes and wands
And got very busy
In the fields, yards and ponds.
I’ll paint this pink”
Giggled Dottie with glee.
While Alvin yelled happily
“It will be green for me!”
“What shall we do with this one?”
Asked Susie with a frown?
“I think,” said Bug, “it shall be
Yellow & red with a trunk of brown.”
“We like that idea”
Said the fairies as one
And worked even harder to
Beat the slow rising sun.
“We better get painting”
Said the head fairy boss
As he touched up one last flower
With a small dab of gloss.
And just as the sun peaked
Over the hill
The fairies all huddled against
The early morning chill.
“Did we finish them all?”
“Are the colors just right?”
“Let’s take a quick look
At our work of last night.”
From the fields of green grass
To the mountains of gold
The fairies all watched
The beauty of Spring unfold.
Who needs the Jersey Shore when we have West Virginia?
There's a reason (outside of the fact the shows are just stupid!) that I don't watch any of the MTV type reality shows and that is simply because my family can top any whacked out, mind boggling, jaw dropping nonsense they can come up with. Case in point, 3 am text messages received from my brother regarding his ability to screw up his life at a rate only paralleled by Lindsey Lohan, just without the numerous paparazzi involved.
I love my brother...and used to take blame for his inability to grow up by saying I babied him too much as a child. And, I probably did. My mom went back to school for her master's degree when I was 10/11 and I did a lot of "raising" my sister and him. However, that was 30 years ago, and, at some point, it isn't my fault anymore. But, of course, that doesn't stop me from worrying...or caring. Especially now as he has a wife and four kids. Obviously I missed the lesson in responsible parenting!
After 7 years in college, we decided his university was just tired of taking my dad's money so they gave my brother a degree. Since then, he has changed careers (not jobs) at least 8 times. This would not be a problem if he'd just find one he actually likes...and one that keeps him out of trouble! And, his attention span is not much better when it comes to his marriage. I adore my sister-in-law, but her answer to his tendency to get bored has always been to just get pregnant. Pretty sure that is not the advice in any of the "Can this marriage be saved" columns. Four incredible nieces and nephews were enough I guess as the quick "snip snip" visit to the doctor last year ended that pattern of behavior.
So, in order to both make a living, and feed his need for excitement, my brother became a bail bondsman last year. For anyone who knows him, this was quite the entertaining thought...take a man (albeit very good sized man) who is known to be the biggest teddy bear in the world, but with an unquenchable thirst for adventure, give him a gun and a female partner and send him off. Anyone see a recipe for disaster here?
Of course, we have all seen this movie, and know how it ends. Female partner (who, it turns out, could have had a guest spot on the Soprano's) didn't see the writing on the walls, thought she had met Prince Charming (hello, I still help him balance his checkbook!!) and decided to push for the next step. Brother panics, tells his wife everything, and we all get the frantic middle of the night text messages asking for help. So now, in the midst of working, writing this incredibly important blog for my 5 readers, and raising 2 kids and 2 dogs on my own, I'm helping him find a job (obviously need to quit the one that has him hanging with the gun toting Glenn Close character from Fatal Attraction), while also trying to help him save his marriage. Yeah, normal activity for a Tuesday!
People have asked me why I am always in a good mood...well, I'd love to say it was the Prozac but really, what else am I going to do? One day, some Hollywood writer with a few hours to kill, is going to stumble upon this little blog and turn our crazy, Parenthood meets Twisted Sister family, into an overnight success (or tragedy) and then I can truly say with a smile..."Hey, what are you going to do? It's family!"
I love my brother...and used to take blame for his inability to grow up by saying I babied him too much as a child. And, I probably did. My mom went back to school for her master's degree when I was 10/11 and I did a lot of "raising" my sister and him. However, that was 30 years ago, and, at some point, it isn't my fault anymore. But, of course, that doesn't stop me from worrying...or caring. Especially now as he has a wife and four kids. Obviously I missed the lesson in responsible parenting!
After 7 years in college, we decided his university was just tired of taking my dad's money so they gave my brother a degree. Since then, he has changed careers (not jobs) at least 8 times. This would not be a problem if he'd just find one he actually likes...and one that keeps him out of trouble! And, his attention span is not much better when it comes to his marriage. I adore my sister-in-law, but her answer to his tendency to get bored has always been to just get pregnant. Pretty sure that is not the advice in any of the "Can this marriage be saved" columns. Four incredible nieces and nephews were enough I guess as the quick "snip snip" visit to the doctor last year ended that pattern of behavior.
So, in order to both make a living, and feed his need for excitement, my brother became a bail bondsman last year. For anyone who knows him, this was quite the entertaining thought...take a man (albeit very good sized man) who is known to be the biggest teddy bear in the world, but with an unquenchable thirst for adventure, give him a gun and a female partner and send him off. Anyone see a recipe for disaster here?
Of course, we have all seen this movie, and know how it ends. Female partner (who, it turns out, could have had a guest spot on the Soprano's) didn't see the writing on the walls, thought she had met Prince Charming (hello, I still help him balance his checkbook!!) and decided to push for the next step. Brother panics, tells his wife everything, and we all get the frantic middle of the night text messages asking for help. So now, in the midst of working, writing this incredibly important blog for my 5 readers, and raising 2 kids and 2 dogs on my own, I'm helping him find a job (obviously need to quit the one that has him hanging with the gun toting Glenn Close character from Fatal Attraction), while also trying to help him save his marriage. Yeah, normal activity for a Tuesday!
People have asked me why I am always in a good mood...well, I'd love to say it was the Prozac but really, what else am I going to do? One day, some Hollywood writer with a few hours to kill, is going to stumble upon this little blog and turn our crazy, Parenthood meets Twisted Sister family, into an overnight success (or tragedy) and then I can truly say with a smile..."Hey, what are you going to do? It's family!"
Saturday, January 1, 2011
Happy New Year!
I have never been a big fan of New Year's Eve...or at least going out and doing the huge celebrations. Spending hours with a bunch of drunk people I don't know just doesn't rank up there for me. Go figure! Some of my best memories are of babysitting with a good friend, calling our middle school boyfriends and fantasizing about the lives we were going to have when we lived next door to each other our whole lives. Unfortunately there is now an entire country between us so that just didn't happen.
But, for some reason, this Dec. 31st was even less anticipated than years past. The kids were supposed to be with their dad and I hadn't been inundated with requests to ring in the new year with friends and family so I was in limbo. We had been invited to the house of a friend from school which was met with great excitement by my son...not nearly as much by his mother. However, in the spirit of family compromise, my daughter did the annual bowling tradition with her dad and his family and my son and I went to our version of Wisteria Lane for a NYE get together.
As I am one of the only single moms in the school it is always very obvious that I could not make my marriage work...always a fun way to start the new year. But with this group it is even more so...stay at home moms in their 3000 sq. foot homes with their perfect children and doting husbands. Granted, I would not want to be married to any of them...or be them but you get the picture.
I was responsible for a salad and an appetizer. Everyone knows you are totally judged on your ability to bring the cool dish to a party so I was stuck between trying to impress and my lack of excitement over the event so really not caring about what I brought. Settling on a citrus spinach salad and baked brie dish I figured I had achieved the perfect balance between ease and decadence. However, the dilemma hit when I realized serving bourbon soaked pecans over brie at my house would not be a problem but really, is that the impression I want to leave with parents who let their kids come to my house ALL the time. The one mom who I am closest to and who totally would have appreciated my offering wasn't going to be there. So, instead of the simple put together and be impressive dish I had been planning, I now had to cook the mixture to simmer off any of the alcohol...all 1/4 cup of it! Yeah, not getting anyone drunk here. Yet, I also am the same person who was scared to order Kahlua and cream ice cream at Baskin Robbins as a teen because I was afraid I'd get carded. Yeah, normally Einstein, but I do have my moments.
Of course, not one child ate the Brie but it was a hit...reminding me I really am good at the whole entertaining thing so why stress about it! I also decided I am going to throw the NYE get togethers from now on...perfect combination of having people around and not leaving my house. Bonus! Also, while not a big fan of making resolutions, I am making a request... I really would like to have a partner next holiday season. Not to even out the table settings or to make me feel complete, but because I do have a lot to offer and think I deserve to be appreciated, admired and adored.
Looking forward to keeping you all updated and apprised of my exciting adventures in 2011. Thanks for your interest, your support and your friendships along my journey...they are all so very much appreciated.
But, for some reason, this Dec. 31st was even less anticipated than years past. The kids were supposed to be with their dad and I hadn't been inundated with requests to ring in the new year with friends and family so I was in limbo. We had been invited to the house of a friend from school which was met with great excitement by my son...not nearly as much by his mother. However, in the spirit of family compromise, my daughter did the annual bowling tradition with her dad and his family and my son and I went to our version of Wisteria Lane for a NYE get together.
As I am one of the only single moms in the school it is always very obvious that I could not make my marriage work...always a fun way to start the new year. But with this group it is even more so...stay at home moms in their 3000 sq. foot homes with their perfect children and doting husbands. Granted, I would not want to be married to any of them...or be them but you get the picture.
I was responsible for a salad and an appetizer. Everyone knows you are totally judged on your ability to bring the cool dish to a party so I was stuck between trying to impress and my lack of excitement over the event so really not caring about what I brought. Settling on a citrus spinach salad and baked brie dish I figured I had achieved the perfect balance between ease and decadence. However, the dilemma hit when I realized serving bourbon soaked pecans over brie at my house would not be a problem but really, is that the impression I want to leave with parents who let their kids come to my house ALL the time. The one mom who I am closest to and who totally would have appreciated my offering wasn't going to be there. So, instead of the simple put together and be impressive dish I had been planning, I now had to cook the mixture to simmer off any of the alcohol...all 1/4 cup of it! Yeah, not getting anyone drunk here. Yet, I also am the same person who was scared to order Kahlua and cream ice cream at Baskin Robbins as a teen because I was afraid I'd get carded. Yeah, normally Einstein, but I do have my moments.
Of course, not one child ate the Brie but it was a hit...reminding me I really am good at the whole entertaining thing so why stress about it! I also decided I am going to throw the NYE get togethers from now on...perfect combination of having people around and not leaving my house. Bonus! Also, while not a big fan of making resolutions, I am making a request... I really would like to have a partner next holiday season. Not to even out the table settings or to make me feel complete, but because I do have a lot to offer and think I deserve to be appreciated, admired and adored.
Looking forward to keeping you all updated and apprised of my exciting adventures in 2011. Thanks for your interest, your support and your friendships along my journey...they are all so very much appreciated.
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