Love through the ages...

My life has turned into one of those Ladies Home Journal Articles, the ones that say "How to find love, lose weight, be a good mom, etc...when you are in your 20's, 30's or 40's".  But this edition is more like "How to manage your life when you are newly separated, a divorcee pro or a happily married woman who has spent more years with her husband than without" as that describes our version of the 3 Stooges. And, what is even more amazing to me is that while our individual circumstances are very different, the emotions we experience and the insecurities we harbor are very similar.  Is this where we thought we'd be in our lives?  My butt used to be hot, now it is just a hot mess.  How am I going to find, want or keep a man when my dress size now is coming close to doubling my shoe size?  Where exactly does all the money go each month? And, really, when do you just decide to be happy with who and what you are at any given time?

As I thought about our latest adventure out in the real world (the world that exists outside of my one friend's kitchen, where we drink wine, laugh and our problems don't seem quite so overwhelming) I was reminded once again that everyone has issues, and really, and this makes me seem incredibly selfish, my issues are truly the smallest of them all. Phew!  I've gone from being the "oh, poor thing", cry at the drop of a hat, fragile walking wounded to just the one more dog away from crazy dog lady wandering the aisles of Safeway when she gets older...and, believe me, that is an improvement. 

No, now, I can be the supportive friend: the one who talks the newly separated one off the proverbial ledge where she hovers between insane anger and utter despair.  Reminding her that yes, there is life out there and by taking each day, one step at a time, you make it through 24 hours, and then 48 and then a week and amazingly, one day you will be on the other side, serving as the rock for her friend that will be going through the same thing. 

I can also now be the friend who plays Wing Man to her married friend's subtle reminder to the not so subtle unhappily married housewife that her husband is off limits.  This friend, who is truly, without a doubt, one of the most naturally beautiful women ever...but that doesn't protect her from wondering how susceptible might any husband be to the overt appreciation and flirting by someone other than his wife of 25+ years.  Playing a role in the type of game play that makes 4 star generals jealous proved once again that the dumbest move a person ever makes is to cross a smart woman.  Without saying a direct word or even using a threatening tone of voice, the message is relayed loud and clear "He is married.  He is happy and he is VERY well taken care of".  And then, serving as the friend that assures her life is the way it is supposed to be for her...that while the world around her seems to be collapsing with friends and family members filing through family law offices like the turnstile at Wal-Mart...she actually has what works...a husband who loves her, and the common sense to remind him of that from time to time.

Maybe life isn't supposed to be easy.  If it were, we'd all become complacent and not appreciate the people and experiences that make us smile every day.  While I hate that any of my friends have to experience grief, sadness, or even uncertainty, those challenges are what keep us getting up each morning, ready to take on the day.  Granted, that day will always start at Starbucks and end with a glass of wine, but hey, whatever it takes to get you through...that, and a great group of girlfriends!