Well, as I've mentioned, it has been a year since the secret exodus from the house and life which I thought I'd live in forever and my family and friends think it is past time for me to move on. As I've noted, I'm all about meeting someone who makes my heart skip a beat but I don't think I'm ready for him to stay. My mother asked recently if I was ready to meet someone new and while I appreciate her interest, I am pretty sure, half of it may be in support of me getting back out into the world of the newly dating but the other half is a not so subtle attempt to make sure Alex is out of life forever. To say she was not his biggest fan is putting it mildly. In all actuality, I think his first visit to her house kept me in therapy for a good year and a half.
My mother is president of her local chapters of Grandmothers for Peace (yes, this is a real group) and the Sierra Club, while also volunteering as much time as possible at the neighborhood Democratic headquarters. Alex is a card carrying member of the NRA, believer in all things GOP and, of course, at the time, a proud supporter of 'W'. While many families are able to handle these common political differences by agreeing to avoid politics and just talk about sports, the weather, grass growing...anything...my mother chose instead, to use this, his first impression of her, to showcase her political beliefs like they were the poster children for the Impeach Bush movement. We walked into her house and I would have sworn the ghosts of Kennedy, Johnson and all other Democratic legacies had thrown up in her living room. Had this been her normal decor, I would have forewarned Alex that she takes her eccentricities to the next level but no, the trinkets, bumper stickers, anti-Bush books and Mother Jones magazines were all new additions to her otherwise tastefully decorated comfortable home. Had I been smart, we'd have turned around and run while we still had a chance.
Normally my sister would have been there to be a much needed buffer, but at the time, she and her husband were separated and she was exploring her almost 35 year old, wants to be 21 again inner personality. (I had done this a few years earlier so understood but thought her timing sucked!). Her husband, however, was there sporting his new tongue stud. I guess Jenny wasn't the only one checking out the "wild side". While this new ornament was a tad amusing, he didn't quite have a full grasp on the whole talking thing so most of his contributions to the conversation were spoken with a lisp and pretty much incoherent. That pretty much took him off of the team when it came to deflecting any of the back handed compliments or flat out jabs.
I was just taking a sip from my second glass of wine when I heard her say in her outside voice "So, you'll be sleeping in different rooms...RIGHT?" As a 36 year old woman with children of my own, I completely understood and respected the rules of the household...if these had actually EVER been the rules before. Never in the past 16 years had she ever questioned where unmarried couples slept. Thanksgiving is usually a scene from the 60's in San Francisco with bodies all over the place...granted not a whole lot of sleeping bag swapping was going on but the rooms are covered with couples who haven't quite said "I do" yet. My former husband and I were always in the same room together...long before he had the title of husband. I just ignored her and refilled my glass...which of course, prompted another eye roll, snort and very audible sigh. These were all treated as what they were, a 62 year old woman's attempt at acting 13.
We actually made it through the night and were about to make an early break for it when my mother hands me a book whose title had to be something like "George Bush stole the election" or "How to be strong in a world full of right wing nuts"...or I'm sure nearly as offensive. Something I'm pretty sure she didn't find at the Barnes & Noble she refuses to shop in unless I have forced her because I can get Starbucks AND a book...bonus! She did her trademark fake positive laugh and said "Alex, this is for my daughter. Will you please let her have it in the car? It is very important to me that she know right from wrong." Seriously??? I have worked in local politics for the better part of 15 years and she is worried I may not understand the current political landscape and that is why I have chosen to fall in love with Alex. I had to choke back the laughter as he answered "Of course not! I'll throw it out the window if she brings it into my gas guzzling, environment choking, over sized SUV." And, with that, we were off...not to be seen in the mountains again for another 18 months.
So, in reflecting on that incredibly trying 24 hours of my life, I realize once again, being content with my situation is not a bad thing. I love my house, my kids, my dog and the fact I don't have to answer questions about my dating life if I don't want to. And, if meeting someone means I'd have to go through something like that again, I think I'm going to stay a member of the single ladies society forever.
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