Being good at divorce...is that really a compliment?

I was complimented once again today on how well I get along with my former husband...well, complimented may be the wrong choice of words as it was more a statement of awe then an affirmation of the choices he and I have made to stay friends. Granted, there are times our togetherness borders on just a tad too much when his idiosyncrasies drive me a little nuts and I remember why we are no longer married in the first place. However, at that moment, I usually find it is time for me to go home or for the kids and I to be somewhere but magically, the friendship has been saved and we don't have to be the stars of the War of the Roses.

While no one gets married thinking they are going to get a divorce, I always knew that if for some reason that were to happen, we would absolutely have to stay friends and parent our children together...nicely. This is the exact opposite of the life my parents led after they realized staying married was not good for either or them...or for any of us for that matter. My parents divorced because they never should have married in the first place. They were twenty years old, good kids who wanted to rebel by getting married...not actually thinking that being married meant they would actually have to grow old and change together. You could not find two people more different or ill-suited for one another than my mom and dad. To sum it up, my mother's idea of paradise is backpacking through Yosemite National Park with a tent....my dad's idea of Hell, is staying at a Holiday Inn - without room service. Square peg, round hole. In the thirty years since they have divorced, they have been in the same room no more than 15 times, including weddings, graduations and a handful of hospital visits. Each time, proving once again that growing older does not always equate to growing up.

So, my former husband and I choose to do things differently and our children will be better for it. Now, the town in which we live is incredibly confused and, is often caught in the difficult situation of whether or not they should tell me they saw him out with another woman. Gasp! I actually get a kick out of it sometimes (okay, I admit to having a sick sense of humor) but it really just makes sense that my crazy life would include my ex, his girlfriend, her dog, his parents and all of the numerous friends, relations that go along with them. Hillary Clinton said long ago that it takes a village to raise a child...in our case, it takes a village and an episode of Dr. Phil.