As the kids and I boarded the plane last week for our end of summer East Coast adventure I was hit with a number of emotions…”Phew, we made it through security okay.”, “Crap, why didn’t I get a prescription for Xanax before we left, I hate to fly!” “Please God don’t let that woman with the 2 screaming kids and overflowing backpack of junk sit near us” and “By cocktail hour today I will be on EST with a Kir Royale in hand…aahhh”. Fortunately, by now, you all know I think and emote as fast as I talk so all of those fragments of thought zipped through my brain in the time it took me to pour my small (too small) bottle of Bailey’s into my pseudo Starbucks coffee cup. First sip down and we were off…to a land where I relax more, talk slower (and with a little more sass in my twang) and believe one day I will end up living again.
As this was a trip the kids had been talking about for months, we definitely had agendas filled with must see items in our nation’s capital city. The kids have been a few times so we continue to check things off our list while also ensuring we have time to visit family and friends. Granted, the time is never long enough and the visits never frequent enough but I have found this year that combining sweet tea fixes with new adventures at home has made me miss Alex much less…to the point of being almost ready to handle the impending marriage announcement I know that must be in their future. To assure you I'm not completely naive, that announcement will also require a trip to BevMo but really, so does a conversation with my mother so in the grand scheme of things, not so bad. However, my point is, while my bank account could probably handle less trips, my psyche has definitely benefited.
Of course, my life wouldn’t be my life if there weren’t a little unreal thrown in so the adventure of getting a phone call at 11pm on our first night from my brother and his family who had gotten a flat tire leaving DC after dinner with us started it off right. My dad and I left the kids with my stepmother and took off in his upscale SUV to rescue the stranded crew. By rescue I mean he had his AAA card out and was prepared to use it. As I had already climbed into bed by the time the call came in, I threw on a pair of sweats, my “Basketball Mom” t-shirt and blinged out flip flops and we were off. When we arrived at the Secret Service check point in front of the White House (yes, this is where they were stuck) my nieces were in great need of a bathroom. We sent my sister-in-law and the girls off to the 4 star hotel across the street and we waited with my 18 month old nephew sleeping in the stroller. To add to the excitement, my youngest niece had broken her flip flops and I decided walking into the Willard hotel barefoot at midnight looking for a bathroom could send the wrong message so I now was sans shoes. At dawn on the day in question I was dressed to kill in a white halter dress, jeweled and Farah-haired out and now I was barefoot, in sweats and pushing a stroller along Independence Avenue…my, how the mighty have fallen. I have to admit though I was a little distressed that I obviously was not pulling off the destitute mom act as not one person walking by threw me any change. It could be that I was pushing the stroller right next to a new model Infiniti but still, a token contribution would have just added to the evening.
As anyone in my family can attest, we don’t know how to fix things, we know how to get things fixed so with a hit of the hammer and a quick tire change by Pongo (yes!) from AAA, crisis was averted and I was ready for the next adventure…with my blinged out flip flops, of course!
Again, I’d have nothing to write about if my life weren’t, well,…my life!
Thursday, August 18, 2011
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Gone are the days of party line telephone calls
What ever happened to a group of girlfriends sitting around giving advice to one another about love, dating, outfits, etc...? Isn’t that how my blog moniker gained fame anyhow? From classy women who drank Cosmos and dished about their latest escapades while wearing the latest in New York fashion? When did technology replace the hair salon for all the advice and dirt we need? Granted, this question seems a little ironic coming from someone who writes a blog about her crazy daily escapades but that kind of illustrates my point. In this era of non stop technological advances, advice from all sides has taken on a whole new meaning.
Case in point, as we know, I indulged in a little Jersey Italian fun this past weekend…but that, of course, did not just happen organically. I guess it could have, but it also included tweets, Facebook posts, emails and even some cross continent multi-generational Skyping…not kidding!
As festival weekend is usually pretty insane in my world, I send out a blanket invitation to family that they can stay at my house but don’t expect to see me and a bag of Oreos is probably about the extent of the food they will find…a far stretch from the Southern hospitality they are used to when they visit. However, because my family loves me, they get it and this weekend my aunt, as well as my sister and family were crashed at Casa de Crazy. I guess at some point the discussion turned toward the lack of a male companion in my life so my sister jokingly tasked my 62 year old aunt with “finding me a man”. She took the job seriously and after watching the two of us interact on/off stage texted me with a “he’s hot” message…”let’s do something about that.” Okay, because before she pointed that out through the help of Verizon, I wasn’t so sure the looks, the touches, the “are you married” question was leading anywhere. But, no worries, I don’t care who takes credit as long as it ended with me getting a kiss.
As my aunt was my date for a party that evening that Jersey Shore would be attending, she and I did the mad rush getting ready together. Although, it wasn’t just the two of us as she had been busy Skyping with her boyfriend in Germany. He, too, wanted to get in on the advice action, so had been encouraging her to take her own car…just in case I did get lucky. Pause! Just because the two of you AARP members are busier than the Bud Girls at a Nascar race, it doesn’t mean the rest of us are itching to get busy between the sheets. Well, I was but that is beside the point!
Of course, as it turns out, the two cars could have come in handy but it worked out just fine. I brought my aunt home and ran in the house to do a little freshening up. Of course, that also involved the bi-continental Skype time. As I’m running around, fluffing up the hair, yes, surveying the underwear choice, grabbing a bottle of wine…I’m also getting “Tell her to make sure he’s nice. Is she going to stay at the hotel with him? Why the wine? What kind of guy is he?” Hmm….I don’t know! He seems nice, the wine is because well, I’m 20 pounds overweight, haven’t had a guy see me naked in well, forever, and I need to fortitude and he’s the kind of guy who is hot! Okay, maybe if I’d answered these questions a little more carefully I wouldn’t have written the post I did earlier about needing to have my wires checked. But, that isn’t what I was thinking about each time I passed her laptop, perched on the kitchen counter, with the two of them making googly eyes at one another. Please let me get out of here before they start turning up the heat themselves! We've all seen "It's Complicated"...sometimes video chats leave waaaay less to the imagination than one needs.
Really, the fact that my family (all of them) care so much about my life means every thing to me. I am content, and not a complete basket case, because of them. Their support has gotten me through quite a bit the last two years and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Just at that moment, when all of my insecurities were competing with the excitement of a new adventure, I just wasn’t sure I was ready for it to go viral. But again, this is me, writing about it, in my blog, so I guess I’ll just go with it…
Case in point, as we know, I indulged in a little Jersey Italian fun this past weekend…but that, of course, did not just happen organically. I guess it could have, but it also included tweets, Facebook posts, emails and even some cross continent multi-generational Skyping…not kidding!
As festival weekend is usually pretty insane in my world, I send out a blanket invitation to family that they can stay at my house but don’t expect to see me and a bag of Oreos is probably about the extent of the food they will find…a far stretch from the Southern hospitality they are used to when they visit. However, because my family loves me, they get it and this weekend my aunt, as well as my sister and family were crashed at Casa de Crazy. I guess at some point the discussion turned toward the lack of a male companion in my life so my sister jokingly tasked my 62 year old aunt with “finding me a man”. She took the job seriously and after watching the two of us interact on/off stage texted me with a “he’s hot” message…”let’s do something about that.” Okay, because before she pointed that out through the help of Verizon, I wasn’t so sure the looks, the touches, the “are you married” question was leading anywhere. But, no worries, I don’t care who takes credit as long as it ended with me getting a kiss.
As my aunt was my date for a party that evening that Jersey Shore would be attending, she and I did the mad rush getting ready together. Although, it wasn’t just the two of us as she had been busy Skyping with her boyfriend in Germany. He, too, wanted to get in on the advice action, so had been encouraging her to take her own car…just in case I did get lucky. Pause! Just because the two of you AARP members are busier than the Bud Girls at a Nascar race, it doesn’t mean the rest of us are itching to get busy between the sheets. Well, I was but that is beside the point!
Of course, as it turns out, the two cars could have come in handy but it worked out just fine. I brought my aunt home and ran in the house to do a little freshening up. Of course, that also involved the bi-continental Skype time. As I’m running around, fluffing up the hair, yes, surveying the underwear choice, grabbing a bottle of wine…I’m also getting “Tell her to make sure he’s nice. Is she going to stay at the hotel with him? Why the wine? What kind of guy is he?” Hmm….I don’t know! He seems nice, the wine is because well, I’m 20 pounds overweight, haven’t had a guy see me naked in well, forever, and I need to fortitude and he’s the kind of guy who is hot! Okay, maybe if I’d answered these questions a little more carefully I wouldn’t have written the post I did earlier about needing to have my wires checked. But, that isn’t what I was thinking about each time I passed her laptop, perched on the kitchen counter, with the two of them making googly eyes at one another. Please let me get out of here before they start turning up the heat themselves! We've all seen "It's Complicated"...sometimes video chats leave waaaay less to the imagination than one needs.
Really, the fact that my family (all of them) care so much about my life means every thing to me. I am content, and not a complete basket case, because of them. Their support has gotten me through quite a bit the last two years and I wouldn’t trade it for the world. Just at that moment, when all of my insecurities were competing with the excitement of a new adventure, I just wasn’t sure I was ready for it to go viral. But again, this is me, writing about it, in my blog, so I guess I’ll just go with it…
Friday, August 5, 2011
Faulty wiring
I realize this isn’t news, nor is it even a surprise, but it is one of those things I think bears repeating…men and women are different. I know, hold onto your wine glasses, that was groundbreaking material. But, truly, with each and every new experience with the hairier (you hope) sex, I am reminded of how we are just wired differently. And, while, I wouldn’t trade our sense of style, taste or amazing shoes to switch teams, I wouldn’t mind having their ability to compartmentalize emotion vs. pure lust just every once in a while. We women talk a good game about being in it for the fun of it, or being able to handle the whole friends with benefits concept but really, who are we kidding?! We know, two kisses in with a hottie and we are picking china patterns. (or at least picturing long weekend getaways and stolen whispers about tomorrow while men are thinking “what time is the game tomorrow? Do I need more beer?”
I have been struck with this desire to have a circuitry overload because, even though the other ½ of the double trouble duo, warned me I knew what I was getting into, I am having a hard time not wanting more. Okay, more of what is probably a fair question at this point as I haven’t written about this yet. Just remember, I’m 42, single and have been on a dry spell lately!
We know this past weekend was the annual adrenaline rush for me at the festival I’m involved in and this year the rush came from more than just the random flirting and fun innuendos with other volunteers as I became acquainted with one of our celebrity talents we bring in for the weekend. Remember my list of 20+ characteristics of the perfect guy? Well, forget those as he didn’t fit into any of them but boy was he hot! As I said to a friend at one point (when I was just in the admiring phase) “he is my kind of yummy”. And, I guess the CA/VA blond with a slight twang did it for this Jersey Shore boy as he went out of his way to flirt his way into me spending several hours after the event with him…(yes, in his hotel room). Now, before you label me as Samantha, instead of Carrie, I still didn’t have sex with him. Why? I don’t know! I somehow think going back to his hotel room and messing around is okay, after knowing him 10 hours but actual sex, no, that is off limits. Yes, I’m a freak!
Now, of course is when the dilemma sets in. During two different visits at his hotel, 2 days with him at the festival and lots of fun smiles in between, I was cool as a cucumber…content with my life, not looking to be swept off my feet, okay with the completely different lives we lead…and really, all of that is true. But, now that he has flown back to the other coast, and I’m coming off the adrenaline rush of the weekend, my coolness has warmed just a tad and I’m stuck with wondering if he’ll get bored of me (if he isn’t already) before I do him. Yes, a very healthy way to start the day, I know!
Why do women (or is it just me) wake up wondering if he thought about them during the night? Why do we assume he is “a player” without any real proof? And, why, do we make our stomachs hurt wondering if we’ll hear from him? I’ve always been the one to do the leaving (as you’ve read about in here) but for some reason my confidence/ego isn’t as healthy as it has been in the past. Does that start to go along with the perky boobs, hot butt and eyesight? If so, I’m now pissed! I like my sassy side!
Well, since I’m pretty sure the local plastic surgeon specializes in implants and liposuction, not chemical lobotomies, I guess I’m stuck with being a chick in this instance. Note to self: avoid sappy movies, romance novels and ice cream for the next few weeks.
I have been struck with this desire to have a circuitry overload because, even though the other ½ of the double trouble duo, warned me I knew what I was getting into, I am having a hard time not wanting more. Okay, more of what is probably a fair question at this point as I haven’t written about this yet. Just remember, I’m 42, single and have been on a dry spell lately!
We know this past weekend was the annual adrenaline rush for me at the festival I’m involved in and this year the rush came from more than just the random flirting and fun innuendos with other volunteers as I became acquainted with one of our celebrity talents we bring in for the weekend. Remember my list of 20+ characteristics of the perfect guy? Well, forget those as he didn’t fit into any of them but boy was he hot! As I said to a friend at one point (when I was just in the admiring phase) “he is my kind of yummy”. And, I guess the CA/VA blond with a slight twang did it for this Jersey Shore boy as he went out of his way to flirt his way into me spending several hours after the event with him…(yes, in his hotel room). Now, before you label me as Samantha, instead of Carrie, I still didn’t have sex with him. Why? I don’t know! I somehow think going back to his hotel room and messing around is okay, after knowing him 10 hours but actual sex, no, that is off limits. Yes, I’m a freak!
Now, of course is when the dilemma sets in. During two different visits at his hotel, 2 days with him at the festival and lots of fun smiles in between, I was cool as a cucumber…content with my life, not looking to be swept off my feet, okay with the completely different lives we lead…and really, all of that is true. But, now that he has flown back to the other coast, and I’m coming off the adrenaline rush of the weekend, my coolness has warmed just a tad and I’m stuck with wondering if he’ll get bored of me (if he isn’t already) before I do him. Yes, a very healthy way to start the day, I know!
Why do women (or is it just me) wake up wondering if he thought about them during the night? Why do we assume he is “a player” without any real proof? And, why, do we make our stomachs hurt wondering if we’ll hear from him? I’ve always been the one to do the leaving (as you’ve read about in here) but for some reason my confidence/ego isn’t as healthy as it has been in the past. Does that start to go along with the perky boobs, hot butt and eyesight? If so, I’m now pissed! I like my sassy side!
Well, since I’m pretty sure the local plastic surgeon specializes in implants and liposuction, not chemical lobotomies, I guess I’m stuck with being a chick in this instance. Note to self: avoid sappy movies, romance novels and ice cream for the next few weeks.
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
It's all about the Bad Boys...
What is it about just the image of a "Bad Boy" that has normally sane, level headed, put together women tossing their Coach purses (okay, putting them away nicely in their special bag covers) to the side and throwing on the jeans, tank tops, hot heels ready to take a walk on the wild side? Now don't shake your head and act like you don't know what I'm talking about. You know there is at least one man on "your list" that either rides a motorcycle in his leather jacket or has long hair and more than his fair share of tattoos. He is the guy your mother warned you about (well, not my mother...she warned me about rich Republicans out to destroy the world as we know it...but again, she's different) but the one you still thought was hot. I know, unfortunately, I have had several of these type of men on my "ooh baby" list. And, at 42, wouldn't one think I'd have learned my lesson by now? But, why! Sometimes bad really can be good. See, it is that type of justification that gets me into trouble every time.
In the midst of our festival craziness, the same group of friends who seem to be included in most of my more memorable evenings, decided we should go see Kid Rock in concert. He could be the poster child for today's Bad Boy. Obviously he is not at all in the classically handsome category by any stretch but for some reason the combination of his hard core lyrics, his kiss my a** attitude and the abs from, oh my gosh, heaven and really you have the stuff suburban housewives (and their divorced friends) dream about. Granted, I was not as ready to rush the stage as my lemon drop friend (remember her from Whiskey Creek) but my increased heart rate did get me to thinking about why women do this. Why do we fall for the very ones we shouldn't? I know Barnes & Noble has an entire section devoted to the stupid choices women make but I don't think we need that much space.
I think it is a physical thing...really! I look at one of these men with the tough guy attitude and think "yeah, he's going to give me what I need" without ever thinking long term. You see no holds barred great sex in your future but know there will not be a bouquet of flowers this next day to thank you for the fun. You'll be sore but satisfied. And, I guess every once in a while that is not a bad thing. But unfortunately, we, as women, don't think on such practical terms. We usually think like the lyrics from my favorite cowboy "I may be a real bad boy but baby I'm a real good man". It is a song, ladies! Probably written by a woman!
I am reminding myself of these facts and trying to apply logic to any choice I make in the near future. I know I need a man with quite the tough side...but it needs to be balanced as well. And, until then, I know how to daydream.
In the midst of our festival craziness, the same group of friends who seem to be included in most of my more memorable evenings, decided we should go see Kid Rock in concert. He could be the poster child for today's Bad Boy. Obviously he is not at all in the classically handsome category by any stretch but for some reason the combination of his hard core lyrics, his kiss my a** attitude and the abs from, oh my gosh, heaven and really you have the stuff suburban housewives (and their divorced friends) dream about. Granted, I was not as ready to rush the stage as my lemon drop friend (remember her from Whiskey Creek) but my increased heart rate did get me to thinking about why women do this. Why do we fall for the very ones we shouldn't? I know Barnes & Noble has an entire section devoted to the stupid choices women make but I don't think we need that much space.
I think it is a physical thing...really! I look at one of these men with the tough guy attitude and think "yeah, he's going to give me what I need" without ever thinking long term. You see no holds barred great sex in your future but know there will not be a bouquet of flowers this next day to thank you for the fun. You'll be sore but satisfied. And, I guess every once in a while that is not a bad thing. But unfortunately, we, as women, don't think on such practical terms. We usually think like the lyrics from my favorite cowboy "I may be a real bad boy but baby I'm a real good man". It is a song, ladies! Probably written by a woman!
I am reminding myself of these facts and trying to apply logic to any choice I make in the near future. I know I need a man with quite the tough side...but it needs to be balanced as well. And, until then, I know how to daydream.
Monday, August 1, 2011
Not the sugar daddy I had in mind
Be careful what you wish for! We've all heard that saying and almost always rolled our eyes and thought "what in the world could be wrong with what I'm wishing"...well, darn it, it's true! To be honest, I've never actually wished for a Sugar Daddy. I've joked about it. I've wondered what it would be like to have an older man think I should just be showered with bling. But, wish is a stretch. However, I think this past week, I almost received a proposition to have someone be just that...or at least very close to it. And, people wonder why I started a blog!
2 years ago, during the foggy time in my life, I was also experiencing one of the best times of my life, as president of the festival I so greatly love. Well, through that role I had a few different TV/radio spots I had to participate in. Oh yeah, me and microphone...go figure! One of these gigs (biz lingo, you know) was in San Francisco so a few of us rode up with a car/driver supplied by our media guy. The driver was the owner of the company and private security consultant and very nice. I thought he must have been a big fan of The American President because he complimented my feet as being "absolutely perfect". While President Andrew Sheppard learned to compliment a woman's shoes, I figured Mr. BodyGuard just got the concept a little wrong. Well, guess not! But, I thought nothing of it and moved on.
Fast forward 2 years and I am again asked to do a spot for a regional talk show and Mr. Body Guard will be driving us to the city (I brought my daughter, not knowing how fortuitous this was at the time). As we are getting into the car, I jokingly say "Good thing I just got a pedicure because I know how particular you are about feet"...and I laugh. The man is 15 years older than me so I don't think this is dangerous territory at all. Until he responds with...I like looking at your feet, as well as the rest of you too and then closes the car door for me. Okay...it is going to be an interesting ride.
He immediately gets my daughter all set up with a movie on his iPhone with headphones and begins to ask if I'm still single. He understands that when Alex and I first broke up I wasn't ready for anything (hmmm??? this is relevant to our drive into SF how?) but that is when he was separated from his wife so too bad our timing was off. He went on to tell me that, if nothing else, he would have shown me a good time. Again, "what?!?" First, you are talking about protecting Paris Hilton at some trendy LA club and now I should be sorry because you are now back with your wife...although if I was interested in being your travel partner ("she's not really into travel") you need a companion for you 100 day long motorcycle ride to Sturgis. Oh yes, please pick me! Nothing would make me happier than being the side dish on the back of a motorcycle trip that involves camping, I think. And, again, at least 15 years older than me (although he thought I was 5 years younger than I actually am so again, ewww!) and while I imagine he could take good care of me, not what I had in mind.
Of course, traffic was horrendous that day so what could have been just a long 2 hours in the car turned into an oh my gosh, I'm seriously considering jumping out of the window kind of experience. Fortunately, my daughter's movie ended and I immediately said "NO!" when asked whether or not she wanted to watch another one. I know I should be flattered that some aging Kevin Costner/Whitney Houston movie character thinks I'm the bees knees and could make me happy, but I just can't do it. I think I'll continue to take my chances on the unmarried, non foot fetish, closer to my age pool of applicants. Wow!
2 years ago, during the foggy time in my life, I was also experiencing one of the best times of my life, as president of the festival I so greatly love. Well, through that role I had a few different TV/radio spots I had to participate in. Oh yeah, me and microphone...go figure! One of these gigs (biz lingo, you know) was in San Francisco so a few of us rode up with a car/driver supplied by our media guy. The driver was the owner of the company and private security consultant and very nice. I thought he must have been a big fan of The American President because he complimented my feet as being "absolutely perfect". While President Andrew Sheppard learned to compliment a woman's shoes, I figured Mr. BodyGuard just got the concept a little wrong. Well, guess not! But, I thought nothing of it and moved on.
Fast forward 2 years and I am again asked to do a spot for a regional talk show and Mr. Body Guard will be driving us to the city (I brought my daughter, not knowing how fortuitous this was at the time). As we are getting into the car, I jokingly say "Good thing I just got a pedicure because I know how particular you are about feet"...and I laugh. The man is 15 years older than me so I don't think this is dangerous territory at all. Until he responds with...I like looking at your feet, as well as the rest of you too and then closes the car door for me. Okay...it is going to be an interesting ride.
He immediately gets my daughter all set up with a movie on his iPhone with headphones and begins to ask if I'm still single. He understands that when Alex and I first broke up I wasn't ready for anything (hmmm??? this is relevant to our drive into SF how?) but that is when he was separated from his wife so too bad our timing was off. He went on to tell me that, if nothing else, he would have shown me a good time. Again, "what?!?" First, you are talking about protecting Paris Hilton at some trendy LA club and now I should be sorry because you are now back with your wife...although if I was interested in being your travel partner ("she's not really into travel") you need a companion for you 100 day long motorcycle ride to Sturgis. Oh yes, please pick me! Nothing would make me happier than being the side dish on the back of a motorcycle trip that involves camping, I think. And, again, at least 15 years older than me (although he thought I was 5 years younger than I actually am so again, ewww!) and while I imagine he could take good care of me, not what I had in mind.
Of course, traffic was horrendous that day so what could have been just a long 2 hours in the car turned into an oh my gosh, I'm seriously considering jumping out of the window kind of experience. Fortunately, my daughter's movie ended and I immediately said "NO!" when asked whether or not she wanted to watch another one. I know I should be flattered that some aging Kevin Costner/Whitney Houston movie character thinks I'm the bees knees and could make me happy, but I just can't do it. I think I'll continue to take my chances on the unmarried, non foot fetish, closer to my age pool of applicants. Wow!
Sunday, July 24, 2011
A walk on the wild side...
No, don't get excited, I didn't visit the biker bar again! I am talking about the actual wilderness, far from civilization...or at least 20 minutes away from the closest Starbucks so that counts as off the beaten path for me. The kids and I went camping! Yes, actual camping...not just a Motel 6. And, guess what, we had fun.
Obviously, we did not go alone; I'm adventurous, not crazy! My sister, brother-in-law and family were camping for the weekend on the lake where they go boating and asked us to join them. We'd already planned on spending the weekend on the water with them so really, why not?
Yes, normally, I'd have plenty of reasons why not: it's dirty, you are sleeping in the same area as moles, gophers, lizards, snakes, did I mention dirt, you eat, sleep and relax in the same 30 feet of space, you cook outside and oh yes, there's dirt. But, the minute I asked my kids if they wanted to go, their faces lit up and their sleeping bags were instantly in the car. And, again, in this new world of independent living, I am already up for a new adventure.
My sister and I share the same feelings when it comes to living in the dirt...the way we look at it, if God had wanted people to stay so primitive, He'd have never allowed for places like the Four Seasons to be built, or for indoor plumbing to be common place or for homes to have plush carpeting and hard wood floors. However, spending hours each day on the boat reminded me of how happy I am on the water, and how I know, one day I will be living with a view of a lake and a boat parked at the dock.
We had an amazing weekend of sun, fun and, of course, plenty of Corona and I realized once again that, while I do think I'm ready to meet someone to share in this type of fun (love of camping is not a prerequisite), I am also very content and capable of enjoying life on my own with my amazing kids and wonderful family. I also confirmed that camping is something I can do but don't need to prove my prowess on a regular basis.
Obviously, we did not go alone; I'm adventurous, not crazy! My sister, brother-in-law and family were camping for the weekend on the lake where they go boating and asked us to join them. We'd already planned on spending the weekend on the water with them so really, why not?
Yes, normally, I'd have plenty of reasons why not: it's dirty, you are sleeping in the same area as moles, gophers, lizards, snakes, did I mention dirt, you eat, sleep and relax in the same 30 feet of space, you cook outside and oh yes, there's dirt. But, the minute I asked my kids if they wanted to go, their faces lit up and their sleeping bags were instantly in the car. And, again, in this new world of independent living, I am already up for a new adventure.
My sister and I share the same feelings when it comes to living in the dirt...the way we look at it, if God had wanted people to stay so primitive, He'd have never allowed for places like the Four Seasons to be built, or for indoor plumbing to be common place or for homes to have plush carpeting and hard wood floors. However, spending hours each day on the boat reminded me of how happy I am on the water, and how I know, one day I will be living with a view of a lake and a boat parked at the dock.
We had an amazing weekend of sun, fun and, of course, plenty of Corona and I realized once again that, while I do think I'm ready to meet someone to share in this type of fun (love of camping is not a prerequisite), I am also very content and capable of enjoying life on my own with my amazing kids and wonderful family. I also confirmed that camping is something I can do but don't need to prove my prowess on a regular basis.
Monday, July 18, 2011
You've Got Mail ...2011 style
As we all know, I decided long ago to expand my dating horizons to other time zones (yes, I realize that means not waiting for the multimillionaire UPS guy to knock on my door but hey, baby steps please!). I have even gone so far as to concoct fun little fantasy stories with my best friend about the nice VA guy I'm going to meet and have the most amazing long distance romance with. Like I said, it is my fantasy, just let me have it, please.
And, to add to the plus column of this new plan, over the past few months I have actually encountered a couple instances where this multi-time zone difference love affair is actually flourishing. And, with the perks associated with an email/text/Skype dating schedule, this could truly be the ticket! Think about it: don't feel like changing out of your sweats? Don't! Just put on a cute top because only the top 1/2 of your body is in the picture anyhow. Really don't want to go out once you get home from work? Again, bonus...your date occurs over a glass of your favorite wine as he is miles away at his computer. Trying to juggle basketball schedules, church plays, work and the dishes? Text or email him at halftime. He'll be thrilled you were thinking of him in the middle of your crazy day. Now when you go to a party alone, you aren't the poor single girl, you are the one with the oh so romantic far away boyfriend. See? This whole long distance thing has my name written all over it. The benefits of having "that person" without the trouble of actually dating him.
Before you can admonish me for the lack of intimate contact, let's remember who you are talking to here, the last time I kissed someone obviously scared or scarred him for life so maybe the celibate lifestyle should be explored for a while. And, again, the long distance aspect means I would have months in between visits to work out and try to be bedroom worthy again. Also, he'd be so happy to be finally "getting some", he wouldn't care if I were soft in places I'm not supposed to be. With my witty personality, I'd be really hot via email!
So, I've decided Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan really did have something going with the whole email romance...now, just to find a smart cowboy with a laptop in his oversized truck. Hmm....
And, to add to the plus column of this new plan, over the past few months I have actually encountered a couple instances where this multi-time zone difference love affair is actually flourishing. And, with the perks associated with an email/text/Skype dating schedule, this could truly be the ticket! Think about it: don't feel like changing out of your sweats? Don't! Just put on a cute top because only the top 1/2 of your body is in the picture anyhow. Really don't want to go out once you get home from work? Again, bonus...your date occurs over a glass of your favorite wine as he is miles away at his computer. Trying to juggle basketball schedules, church plays, work and the dishes? Text or email him at halftime. He'll be thrilled you were thinking of him in the middle of your crazy day. Now when you go to a party alone, you aren't the poor single girl, you are the one with the oh so romantic far away boyfriend. See? This whole long distance thing has my name written all over it. The benefits of having "that person" without the trouble of actually dating him.
Before you can admonish me for the lack of intimate contact, let's remember who you are talking to here, the last time I kissed someone obviously scared or scarred him for life so maybe the celibate lifestyle should be explored for a while. And, again, the long distance aspect means I would have months in between visits to work out and try to be bedroom worthy again. Also, he'd be so happy to be finally "getting some", he wouldn't care if I were soft in places I'm not supposed to be. With my witty personality, I'd be really hot via email!
So, I've decided Tom Hanks and Meg Ryan really did have something going with the whole email romance...now, just to find a smart cowboy with a laptop in his oversized truck. Hmm....
Sunday, July 17, 2011
Didn't see this offered in my college catalog
"So, what did you do last night?" Usually that is a pretty innocuous question, asked by colleagues as you walk to get the daily Starbucks. And, more often than not my answer includes something about basketball, the dogs, maybe even a reality TV show. Truly, not stuff blogs are made of. However, today, if I were to receive that question, I’d probably blush and then start with “OH MY GOSH (yes, in all caps), you are not going to believe what I did last night!”
Since my transition from “in a relationship” to “single” (If I were to be a FB status updater) I have definitely found I really enjoy time with my friends quite a bit. I have an amazing group of girlfriends who could give the Sex in the City foursome a run for their money any day of the week so when one of them makes a request I try to accommodate whenever possible. And, more often than not, have quite the adventure.
I was chatting online with one such girlfriend the other day when she asked if I would go to this class with her. As she has been working very hard to lose weight I figured we might attend a nutrition seminar or training session – both of which I’d be all over at this point in my weight nightmare. She also is looking for a job so thought okay maybe it is a resume building seminar…I can be down with that. So, I checked my email as instructed and actually laughed out loud in my office when the class title came up Lola presents “Male Body Pleasures 101”. Really? Was this a joke? I haven’t been on an actual date in so long that to me male body pleasure meant standing too close to someone in line at Starbucks. But, after realizing she was serious, and after being married 23 years was looking for a little extra spark, I figured what the heck, Tuesday night TV is lame, I didn’t have the kids and really, why not?!
So, 3 women with good hair, nice pedicures and homes in the suburbs jumped into my friend's BMW and headed to Santa Cruz. If you are not from this area and are unfamiliar with Santa Cruz, it is a funky beach town where recycling old cans and bottles actually counts as an occupation and nice hair means you have more dreadlocks than your shopping cart toting cardboard box mate. But, it is also home to incredible restaurants, cute boutique shops and, of course, Camouflage, the upscale lingerie and "toy" store where the class was being held.
In we walk and down went my jaw. The room was packed! Granted, it wasn't an overly large room but nonetheless it was full...and, let's just go with very diverse. As we went around the room to introduce ourselves (really? Can't this be an anonymous visit...can't I just say I'm auditing the class like one does in college?) each person was to share their name and why they were in the class..."I want to be better in bed", "I want to spice up my marriage", "I have been coming to these classes for years and now I finally have a man to practice on" (who was she practicing on before? Wait, don't answer that as I seriously just saw a life size blow up Viking doll!), "I really want to get better at bj's". Oh my gosh!!! I'm guessing my answer of "Wait, I thought I was in a cooking class" didn't really go over well. But again, some of these women (and men!) were really trying to make their marriage exciting so I'm not judging.
Until....the 60 year old woman with the jean mini skirt and boy toy boyfriend asked how she could keep her teeth out of the way when she was giving blow jobs. How about "just take them out honey...they're dentures!" My bottom lip had teeth marks in it from my unsuccessful attempts to keep from laughing but I couldn't keep the giggles from escaping when the instructor (who made Granola Hippie seem like an understatement) reminded everyone this was an interactive class and she welcomed any and all questions and feel free to use the tactical examples spread throughout the room. Hold on! There are samples?! I don't want to picture most of these people in the room even thinking about sex; let alone actually seeing them handle the whole basket of love she had going on up there. And, really, please don't let them talk or ask questions...Aw man, someone just asked her how to put on a condom with her mouth. Okay, I'm now going to start cataloging my closet in my head...brown sweaters on one side...Really, I didn't go to that extreme but it definitely took all of my self control to not sigh out loud. Partly because I didn't want to be rude but also because I didn't want anyone to mistake my exhale as expression of interest over the masturbation sleeve she was passing around!
Of course, a 90 minute class really does end and no one even tried to force me to buy a toy or even the cute sundress I saw in the window. And, it really was amusing...with stories to tell, obviously. I am just chalking it up to new experiences I continue to have in my 40's of fun! And, who knows, maybe I even learned something.
Since my transition from “in a relationship” to “single” (If I were to be a FB status updater) I have definitely found I really enjoy time with my friends quite a bit. I have an amazing group of girlfriends who could give the Sex in the City foursome a run for their money any day of the week so when one of them makes a request I try to accommodate whenever possible. And, more often than not, have quite the adventure.
I was chatting online with one such girlfriend the other day when she asked if I would go to this class with her. As she has been working very hard to lose weight I figured we might attend a nutrition seminar or training session – both of which I’d be all over at this point in my weight nightmare. She also is looking for a job so thought okay maybe it is a resume building seminar…I can be down with that. So, I checked my email as instructed and actually laughed out loud in my office when the class title came up Lola presents “Male Body Pleasures 101”. Really? Was this a joke? I haven’t been on an actual date in so long that to me male body pleasure meant standing too close to someone in line at Starbucks. But, after realizing she was serious, and after being married 23 years was looking for a little extra spark, I figured what the heck, Tuesday night TV is lame, I didn’t have the kids and really, why not?!
So, 3 women with good hair, nice pedicures and homes in the suburbs jumped into my friend's BMW and headed to Santa Cruz. If you are not from this area and are unfamiliar with Santa Cruz, it is a funky beach town where recycling old cans and bottles actually counts as an occupation and nice hair means you have more dreadlocks than your shopping cart toting cardboard box mate. But, it is also home to incredible restaurants, cute boutique shops and, of course, Camouflage, the upscale lingerie and "toy" store where the class was being held.
In we walk and down went my jaw. The room was packed! Granted, it wasn't an overly large room but nonetheless it was full...and, let's just go with very diverse. As we went around the room to introduce ourselves (really? Can't this be an anonymous visit...can't I just say I'm auditing the class like one does in college?) each person was to share their name and why they were in the class..."I want to be better in bed", "I want to spice up my marriage", "I have been coming to these classes for years and now I finally have a man to practice on" (who was she practicing on before? Wait, don't answer that as I seriously just saw a life size blow up Viking doll!), "I really want to get better at bj's". Oh my gosh!!! I'm guessing my answer of "Wait, I thought I was in a cooking class" didn't really go over well. But again, some of these women (and men!) were really trying to make their marriage exciting so I'm not judging.
Until....the 60 year old woman with the jean mini skirt and boy toy boyfriend asked how she could keep her teeth out of the way when she was giving blow jobs. How about "just take them out honey...they're dentures!" My bottom lip had teeth marks in it from my unsuccessful attempts to keep from laughing but I couldn't keep the giggles from escaping when the instructor (who made Granola Hippie seem like an understatement) reminded everyone this was an interactive class and she welcomed any and all questions and feel free to use the tactical examples spread throughout the room. Hold on! There are samples?! I don't want to picture most of these people in the room even thinking about sex; let alone actually seeing them handle the whole basket of love she had going on up there. And, really, please don't let them talk or ask questions...Aw man, someone just asked her how to put on a condom with her mouth. Okay, I'm now going to start cataloging my closet in my head...brown sweaters on one side...Really, I didn't go to that extreme but it definitely took all of my self control to not sigh out loud. Partly because I didn't want to be rude but also because I didn't want anyone to mistake my exhale as expression of interest over the masturbation sleeve she was passing around!
Of course, a 90 minute class really does end and no one even tried to force me to buy a toy or even the cute sundress I saw in the window. And, it really was amusing...with stories to tell, obviously. I am just chalking it up to new experiences I continue to have in my 40's of fun! And, who knows, maybe I even learned something.
Sunday, July 10, 2011
My version of a bad trip...
If you have read this blog for any amount of time, you know alcohol is the only recreational drug I know from 1st hand experience (no, prescription medication like Xanax so doesn't count) but have often thought I may be missing out on something by going organic. Well, I thought that until tonight....
I make it a habit, almost a rule, that I do not go out on the weekends I have the kids as I've always felt like I don't get to spend enough time with them as it is so why cut into that time any more. However, I was feeling the need to get the cute on (I'll explain later) so changed my no RSVP to a yes to go to a restaurant/bar in town to hear a local band with a group of great friends. After arranging for a favorite friend to come hang out for a couple of hours I broke out the Vegas purchased white halter style tank top, black pants and high heels thinking that 1/2 the work of feeling good is looking good and off I went.
The band was great, the friends always a blast but my concern over the ability to meet someone who met my novel of requirements increased exponentially...heck, this evening the chances of meeting someone with all his teeth, didn't smoke weed with no mullet was going to be pushing it. Granted, we were listening to a band who played several 80's cover tunes so really the fact many of the patrons (using that term loosely) looked like they still lived in the 80's shouldn't have been surprising. The only thing missing was a contingent of fanny pack wearing, super cool looking Magnum, PI wannabees. Yes, it was that bad. Even the fan behind our table made the hair of my friend and I fly around like we were auditioning for a White Snake video (again, a band covered tonight). I definitely was not meeting any potential dinner partners...unless dinner consisted of magic brownies and a plate of potato skins. Ego boost it wasn't.
My ego isn't broken anyhow, just bruised. I try to avoid being a total chick by saying that I really can do casual with no expectations and I truly can. But that doesn't protect me from the 8th grade girl habit of saying your names together and picturing how much fun you'd have going to the prom (or in the case of a 40+ year old woman, boating)....even before there is even a hint of a first date. Yes, this is the roundabout way of saying I've heard nothing from Hot Electrician. I didn't even get a response to one of my famous breezy but quippy texts that I sent on Friday. Am I really not a catch? And, why is it that I seem to always be attracted to the guys who don't get what I catch I obviously think I am?
I knew this was a possibility when I kissed him...hello, I do remember the days of "Will he or won't he call?" and hated them then! But, really, at age 42 shouldn't I have at least outgrown them or is it like my occasional face break outs, that part of adolescence NEVER goes away? If so, I'm pissed. Clearasil works for the break-outs but what do I do about the school girl crush disappointment? I know...replay the "I Want to Rock and Roll All Night" KISS song that was covered and wonder if that is why my fellow bar goers tonight never left the 80's...everything was better with MTV and a Coke.
I make it a habit, almost a rule, that I do not go out on the weekends I have the kids as I've always felt like I don't get to spend enough time with them as it is so why cut into that time any more. However, I was feeling the need to get the cute on (I'll explain later) so changed my no RSVP to a yes to go to a restaurant/bar in town to hear a local band with a group of great friends. After arranging for a favorite friend to come hang out for a couple of hours I broke out the Vegas purchased white halter style tank top, black pants and high heels thinking that 1/2 the work of feeling good is looking good and off I went.
The band was great, the friends always a blast but my concern over the ability to meet someone who met my novel of requirements increased exponentially...heck, this evening the chances of meeting someone with all his teeth, didn't smoke weed with no mullet was going to be pushing it. Granted, we were listening to a band who played several 80's cover tunes so really the fact many of the patrons (using that term loosely) looked like they still lived in the 80's shouldn't have been surprising. The only thing missing was a contingent of fanny pack wearing, super cool looking Magnum, PI wannabees. Yes, it was that bad. Even the fan behind our table made the hair of my friend and I fly around like we were auditioning for a White Snake video (again, a band covered tonight). I definitely was not meeting any potential dinner partners...unless dinner consisted of magic brownies and a plate of potato skins. Ego boost it wasn't.
My ego isn't broken anyhow, just bruised. I try to avoid being a total chick by saying that I really can do casual with no expectations and I truly can. But that doesn't protect me from the 8th grade girl habit of saying your names together and picturing how much fun you'd have going to the prom (or in the case of a 40+ year old woman, boating)....even before there is even a hint of a first date. Yes, this is the roundabout way of saying I've heard nothing from Hot Electrician. I didn't even get a response to one of my famous breezy but quippy texts that I sent on Friday. Am I really not a catch? And, why is it that I seem to always be attracted to the guys who don't get what I catch I obviously think I am?
I knew this was a possibility when I kissed him...hello, I do remember the days of "Will he or won't he call?" and hated them then! But, really, at age 42 shouldn't I have at least outgrown them or is it like my occasional face break outs, that part of adolescence NEVER goes away? If so, I'm pissed. Clearasil works for the break-outs but what do I do about the school girl crush disappointment? I know...replay the "I Want to Rock and Roll All Night" KISS song that was covered and wonder if that is why my fellow bar goers tonight never left the 80's...everything was better with MTV and a Coke.
Monday, July 4, 2011
A little fireworks of my own...
What is about pool parties that make you feel like a 15 year old again? First, you are nervous about what you look like in a bathing suit (think 40+ year old mom who doesn't look like Courtney Cox) and you have me. But then the water feels good, the games of chicken start and you are laughing as you do relay races with the other moms who look just like you! It couldn't have been a more fun day.
Of course, I will be honest and say, some of the excitement didn't come from the fact it was a celebration of our nation's independence but more from the fact that 365 days to the date later from the first few texts telling me I really ought to meet and hang out with Mr. Hot Electrician, we both were feeling the same flirty feelings at the same time.
What started out as an innocent game of chicken (as I mentioned above) eventually led to a kiss (yes, I realize I'm 42 and a kiss shouldn't mean that much). A kiss that, as lame as this sounds, was actually worth the year long, multiple misses, wait. But, then again, if we all remember back to our teenage years, kisses in a pool also seem more exciting somehow.
Now, I'm not expecting anything to come of this...hello, it took us a major league baseball season, an NFL season, an NBA season and several holidays to even get us to this point. And really, the dilemma is getting Mr. Hot Electrician to understand that I'm not looking for Mr. Forever right now...if it happened, great...but I am just more interested in someone fun to hang out with when I don't have the kids, a few more of those kisses (and heck, more wouldn't be bad either) but not expecting us to create the Brady Bunch any time soon.
Guys have it easy where that is concerned. Most women think that is their motive from the beginning so already expect nothing but if a woman comes across saying she just wants casual, guys are immediately suspect. They think we are either trying to trick them with our feigned indifference or we must be a slut then. And, really, it is neither where I am concerned. I just know I've made one too many mistakes in the male choice department so I am taking my time.
So, while I am not sure I will be seeing any other sparks caused by Mr. Hot E (and, yes he is hot!), at least I can be happy with the knowledge I do still have "it" a little and that my instincts (and those of our friends) weren't wrong...we were kind of good together.
Of course, I will be honest and say, some of the excitement didn't come from the fact it was a celebration of our nation's independence but more from the fact that 365 days to the date later from the first few texts telling me I really ought to meet and hang out with Mr. Hot Electrician, we both were feeling the same flirty feelings at the same time.
What started out as an innocent game of chicken (as I mentioned above) eventually led to a kiss (yes, I realize I'm 42 and a kiss shouldn't mean that much). A kiss that, as lame as this sounds, was actually worth the year long, multiple misses, wait. But, then again, if we all remember back to our teenage years, kisses in a pool also seem more exciting somehow.
Now, I'm not expecting anything to come of this...hello, it took us a major league baseball season, an NFL season, an NBA season and several holidays to even get us to this point. And really, the dilemma is getting Mr. Hot Electrician to understand that I'm not looking for Mr. Forever right now...if it happened, great...but I am just more interested in someone fun to hang out with when I don't have the kids, a few more of those kisses (and heck, more wouldn't be bad either) but not expecting us to create the Brady Bunch any time soon.
Guys have it easy where that is concerned. Most women think that is their motive from the beginning so already expect nothing but if a woman comes across saying she just wants casual, guys are immediately suspect. They think we are either trying to trick them with our feigned indifference or we must be a slut then. And, really, it is neither where I am concerned. I just know I've made one too many mistakes in the male choice department so I am taking my time.
So, while I am not sure I will be seeing any other sparks caused by Mr. Hot E (and, yes he is hot!), at least I can be happy with the knowledge I do still have "it" a little and that my instincts (and those of our friends) weren't wrong...we were kind of good together.
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