Well, I did it...after months of people telling me I needed to get back out there in the world, I took a step. Not a huge leap or anything but a step nonetheless. And, what's more, I even enjoyed it. No, don't start ordering dresses for the wedding considering I'm not even sure there will be a first date. However, I did realize, as hard as I may have fought this realization, I can at least be attracted to someone other than Tim McGraw, Joshua Lucas and Alex. And, while it may not make the headline news, that is a pretty big realization for me.
The brother of a dear friend was going through a divorce about the same time as I left Alex last year and my friend commented at the time of how perfect we'd be together. Considering my boxes weren't unpacked and I could barely see out of my eyes since they were swollen from crying, I didn't even really hear her. And, I certainly didn't act on her suggestion with anything more than an "I am never dating again." response I am sure.
However, time does pass and I guess feelings change as this past 4th of July weekend, I got a text from her inviting me to a party at her parents' house with a little smile that said her brother was there as well. I had my own family in town so kindly declined that invitation plus the 12 other margarita induced texts from her family (which are also mutual friends). But, what made me the happiest was I was intrigued. My first reaction wasn't one of negativity or concern over what that meant for my feelings for Alex. I was genuinely interested in meeting him...after I did the due diligence of chick homework, of course.
Well, a few emails, conversations with friends (it is a small town after all) and Google searches later (he is not on Facebook...how rude!) I finally agreed to a low key casual night at a local winery that has music on Friday nights. Immediately my stomach tightened...what had I agreed to? I was no where near ready to be on the showroom floor. Hello, my trunk was still waaayyy full of junk. But, I knew my life could not always revolve around my kids, my dog and whatever Netflix movie was sitting on my counter so I pulled out the jeans that make my butt look good and off I went. (After making my appetizer...the good Martha Stewart I am).
First, he is adorable...sweet, funny and, what is even more amazing, I didn't even notice he is not on the tall side of the scale. It wasn't like it was instant kismet....I don't think he thought to himself "Wow, where has she been all my life...or even where has she been this past week." but I think he had fun as well. I made him laugh, smile...and I even caught him stealing a glance every now and then. It has been so long since I've had to do the dating scene, I don't even know if that means what it used to mean. Maybe he just wanted the bowl of chips that had been sitting in front of me most of the night....Or, worse yet, maybe I had something in my teeth. Ugh!
Like I said, I don't know if anything will ever come of this but even if it doesn't, I know there really are other men out there. They may not "get" me the way Alex did, but they may also not have the same problem with math as he did. 1 live in girlfriend + 1 mistress = 2 big of a mess...So, I will now revisit my 16 year old self and go to bed wondering if he is thinking of me or asking his sister for my number and then I will fall asleep with a sigh and a smile on my face...celebrating the fact there really is life out there.
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