The subject line isn't entirely fair as the movie made famous by Bette Midtler, Meryl Streep and Goldie Hawn definitely focuses on the fact these women were wronged by their husbands...and therefore were justified in their responses for revenge. I can't say that...I was married to a very nice man who one, it turned out was a much better friend than a husband, but two, whose reality was jaded by a sense of self importance that far outweighed his actual persona as a local elected official...not exactly the White House. Yet there are times, I feel as if he lives up to the former husband title well; regardless of who actually said the words to dissolve the marriage.
As I've mentioned, the former husband has a long term girlfriend...well long term could be misleading as their break-ups outnumber the bench on most basketball teams but still she has been around for quite some time. And, for the most part, I really don't have a problem with her. I don't think she and I would have ever been drinking or pedicure pals together but I can usually carry on a conversation with her and can say I've rarely rolled my eyes in frustration (in amazement over some outfits or behavior, yes!) I even kept quiet over the time (early in their relationship) where she came dressed as a "slutty sheriff" in full leather chaps and 3 button leather bustier (nothing else) to take our kids trick or treating with him downtown...again, small town, local elected official. But, hey, when you purchased those babies, I'm guessing you want to get your money's worth. Okay, enough on the catty side of town....
However, when the drama of their up and down relationship starts to affect my children, I have decided the "no drama mama" can completely relate to the antics of divorced women/protective mothers all over the place. If you were to ask my former husband, he would say he is truly "Father of the Year" material...and, actually nominated himself for such an award in town just last year...hey, what can I say...resume builder, maybe? Anyhow, he usually is a pretty good dad but during the initial back together glow of their reunification periods, he checks out. The whole mental image of them is too much for me (not painful, just yuck!) but it must be very good because he truly does just disappear. This weekend, after 2 days of phone calls by the children (they are used to talking to each of us every day...usually twice a day) with no response from him, they were both starting to worry. I knew, without a doubt, they had decided to take a last minute trip out of town...and, wouldn't you know it, I was right. 9:00 tonight the phone rings with a "Hi...we went to the lake...We'll be back tomorrow".
Like I said, happy for them...and really, don't even care (in my sabbatical from physical activity of my own) if they didn't leave their room the whole weekend. Just, for the sole reason I really don't want to have to hit you, check in with your children. What is it about men that make them forget common sense and reason when the area below the belt buckle is involved? No, it isn't a generalization, it has been proven over centuries of stupid decisions made by the hormones, not the head....I usually don't bash the father of my children, or men for that matter (am actually a very big fan of the opposite sex) but there are days I completely get the rants, the raves and the Alanis Morissette songs...and today just happens to be one of those days.
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