What do you get when you take fishnet stockings, silicone with a side of skimpy black dress and stilettos so high they make FMP's look PG13? And no, I didn't visit the Castro District tonight! (For my non CA readers, the Castro is an area in San Francisco where mini skirts and thigh high boots can be seen on most corners...and not just on women). Give up? The actual answer is the visual of my evening at my Best of the West event. And now, picture me, after my hours of running around frenetically trying to organize tables, sponsors, name tags...and, oh yes, don't forget the cactus.
I should have known I was in for a show when the women on the committee were all giggling and comparing their outfits for the evening. "What are you going to wear?" "Oh, I can't tell you, it's a surprise...all I can see is it's red with a lot of leg." "Red, really? So, is Susie...I hope you don't match." Really??? Last time I checked, there was no red carpet and I'm pretty sure the one photographer I hired to capture this for posterity can't really be classified as paparazzi. So, just who, exactly is going to comment on whether or not 2 women wear red dresses? But, I reminded myself that just because I'm a sarcastic, jaded, so over the hotel banquet small talk, would rather be reading a book on the beach kinda gal doesn't mean there aren't women out there who look at nights like this as opportunities to flaunt their stuff.
Maybe that is part of the problem...not so sure about the stuff I'd be flaunting these days. But no, pretty sure in this situation that isn't it. One of the women actually said that since she didn't go to any of her proms, these events every year make up for that emptiness in her past. Again, really?? I went to more than my share of proms, and I have to say, they really weren't all that exciting. And, I definitely know there has not been one time, in my ENTIRE life, where I thought "wow, my life is so full because I went to my proms in high school". Nor, have I ever gone to an event with the idea or expectation it was going to make up for something I was lacking in my life. Heck, I don't even go to them with the idea I'll meet a date...let alone make up for past hurts.
And, on that note, as I've mentioned, this industry is ripe with women for men to ogle, flirt with or out and out fantasize about, the same can not be said about the men. They are either old and settled, hot and gay or so quietly introverted you know you'd scare them with a smile. Maybe I should offer to go plan events for the local electricians' union...hmm...there's a thought.
Well, all in the all, the event was a success...no aqua-netted woman got too close to the candles; people actually took pictures with the John Wayne cut outs; and I only stabbed myself with one of those dumb cactus plants 5-6 times. I think I'll call that a win for tonight.
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