First comes love, next comes status update...

Wanting to share with the world your relationship status is nothing new but how we go about doing is definitely not your mother's Oldsmobile...or however that commercial went.  I have very distinctive memories of my best friend and I sporting the baseball caps of the boys we were "going with" when we were in 8th grade.  At the time, it meant he was proud to have you as his girlfriend and wanted the world to know it.  Now, all I can think of is ewww....they wore those hats to every baseball practice and game, sweating, wiping their dirty hands on them and then handing them to us like they were the Hope Diamond, saying "Here, wear this because I love you.".  Because nothing says complete affection like covering your head in sweat and dirt.

Those symbols changed, of course, over time and being handed a lice magnet turned into being given his class ring...which I would then fill with hot wax and imprint with my finger...ignoring the 2nd degree burns I would get by covering my fingers with burning candles...all in the name of love.  But hey, the ring, plus the bandaged covered fingers all screamed "Look at me...I'm no longer single!".  Which, I guess, is something some women need to announce, regardless of their age.

Just recently my former husband's Facebook page popped up with the big announcement...Mr. Wonderful is now in a relationship.  Really?  Because at 41 years old, this is important for 450 of your closest Facebook friends to know why?  And, since this relationship is by no means new, why is this news?  But, he is not alone in these relationship changes.  So, I started to think about this.  If you are not in the under 18 crowd, whose love interests change as often as Lindsey Lohan is in and out of jail/rehab, is there a reason you need to announce your change in relationship status over Facebook? And, really, what is up with the choices you have anyhow...Single, Married, Engaged, In a Relationship or It's Complicated.  I, fortunately, decided long ago to not post my situation at all!  That part of my life is pretty private so, therefore, not to be fodder for my FB posts...ever!!  But, I have several friends who use the single, in a relationship and it's complicated buttons more than I actually frequent Starbucks...and we know how often that is.

When you are above 30, should your public relationship status ever be "it's complicated"?  Isn't that just asking for your mother to sign you up for therapy for life?  And, going from Married or In a Relationship to Single with the touch of a keystroke just doesn't seem right. Is that like flashing a neon sign that says "Open for Business" or is it a call for your girlfriends to converge upon your house with the requisite post break-up tubs of ice cream and cookie dough? 

While I was in college I was secretly intrigued by the sorority ceremonies when a girl's relationship status changed. All the women would stand in a circle and pass around a lit candle and test how many times it went around the circle without one of the sorority sisters blowing it out.  Once with a blow out meant the girl who blew it out had just received a fraternity boy's lavaliere; twice meant she was pinned; and if some lucky co-ed blew out the candle on the 3rd time around it meant she had just become engaged.  Now, as a fraternity little sister and not a sorority member, when I received my lavaliere I think the only comment was "Cool! Does this mean she'll do your laundry now?" My how times have changed....

Well, I guess after 4 years, maybe the girlfriend of the former husband needed this public declaration of their relationship to feel as if she were the girl standing in the circle getting ready to blow out the candle.  The problem is, what is the candle ceremony equivalent of "Facebook says I'm in a relationship"?  Not sure at all about that one...but I do know it meant I needed a drink...especially after my mother was the first one to comment on his new found relationship status....