"Oh, they'd even argue about the weather!" We have all heard it, and I'm sure I've even said it before but never knew it could be true...I mean, seriously, who argues about the weather?? And, more importantly, why?? Unfortunately, I now know the answer to the first question - my mother! The answer to the second question may never be answered, as I've spent hundreds of dollars in counseling and good wine to figure out why my mother does lots of things...but to no avail.
However, these latest incidents really do seem to take the cake. A few years ago my mother and step-father bought a vacation home in a small seaport village in New England; making her VERY happy. Hey, we would all love a vacation home on the water...we just didn't know why she bought it over 3000 miles from the bulk of her family and then wonders why we don't visit. Anyhow, they bought it and spend their summers there because, in her words, "My doctor said I'd die if I have to spend another day in this God awful heat!" Okay, thank goodness we all know exaggeration is a strong suit of hers or we might actually have taken this dire warning a little more seriously. As it was, we just again wondered how her doctor (ok, nurse practioner) had stayed in practice all these years if she said even half the things our mother has repeated.
Anyhow, now their NE home is Utopia and all other locations (tropical, mountains, other beach towns...) are so greatly lacking they might as well just not exist. I'm happy for her, I truly am, but just let us be happy in our homes as well...please!! Over the past few days she has been on a Weather Channel kick and has made a series of phone calls and Facebook posts (she is why there should be an etiquette test on Facebook)regarding the heat waves that have hit both the SouthEast and the West. "How can you stand the heat?" "Are you dying yet?" "Oh my gosh, the weather here is gorgeous. Even the thundershowers are the most amazing things you will ever see." "Why would anyone ever live anywhere else? They are just crazy!" Okay, considering the town has a population smaller than most minor league ball fields, that leaves quite a few people in the less than sane column. And, I had reached my limit of her weather updates and was gunning for an argument when she called yesterday. "Hi honey! How hot are you?" Not kidding, those were the first words out of her mouth when I answered. "Hi Mom...it is absolutely beautiful here...low 80's, fabulous." "Oh, aren't you lucky...your sister is completely miserable. Not even able to move it is so hot." Considering I had talked to my sister not more than 15 minutes before, and she had been working out, I knew movement was not out of the question for her. "Oh, Mom, it is just you who can't stand the heat. We all love the hot weather." Ok, in all honesty, only rattlesnakes love weather above 95 but I certainly wasn't going to admit that.
And, then, I realized, I was actually arguing about the weather...and, it continued...barb after barb, back and forth, about how miserable everyone was(except her of course). Did it really matter? What was it about her that made me revert to a 6 year old with responses like "Nu-huh...it's not hot. You're hot. So there."? My blood pressure had now risen higher than the ridiculous temperatures outside and I knew it didn't matter how many times I sat on the couch in my therapist's office...I was never going to understand this woman. So, I did what any woman looking for sanity would do...poured a nice glass of wine, kicked up my feet in front of the fan and cursed the heat outside...
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