First, to my very dear friends who read this AND drive minivans: this is by no means, absolutely not in any way shape or form directed at you. You are free to just read and enjoy. For any other minivan moms who might resemble a remark or two in this post, read and reflect, PLEASE....
The scene could have been anywhere: warm but breezy summer evening, practice for sport of some kind, sounds of kids playing in the park echoing the joys of vacation and a group of mom's chatting, laughing and lamenting about the inevitable moment when their children hit the point of boredom. The newness has worn off the gift of summer break and they begin to pick: at their siblings, at the dog, at you...You have done your best to schedule day camps, play dates, adventures until their calendar looks more impacted than your own. However, truly, you relish these days and really wouldn't have it any other way. The group is just sharing war stories, knowing the other women in the group understand, empathize and appreciate the growing wine bottle collection you have in the kitchen. Well, almost all of the women...there is the one, the mom who has all the answers, who acts like these issues are all within her control and just one more item she can check off her whiteboard list....
She pipes up with "Oh, we have already started the academic work with the boys. You should..." Ok, I admit, as soon as I hear "You should", followed by anything, I tune out. It is an automatic mute button in my brain. But, I tune back in just in time to hear the sage wisdom from "supermom". It had something to do with a building block of books project to get them to read over the summer. While the idea sounded very cute (and similar to one my mom had us do when I was younger), it was just the entire unwitting condescension which got to me. And no point during the laugh/gripe session did anyone ask for advice on how to engage their children academically between the months of June, July & August. We just wanted company in our misery.
As I thought about it later, I realized there were more than a couple of these women in my life and the population seemed to be growing. You have moms at school who are constantly piping in with "Oh, if I were you, I'd..." or "We always do ...with our children". Or, the sister-in-law who asked incredulously one Thanksgiving "You aren't going to let your son watch his older cousin play that video game are you? We never allow our children to watch violent programming or games as it just breeds violence." While I may have agreed with her on the validity of her argument, it was very hard to take her seriously as I watched her two boys beat the living daylights out of one another over who had the Legos first. I laughed and resorted to my old standby of sarcasm and answered "Oh, we also let him run with scissors." And, finally, there is the original "You should" mother...my mom...who on occasion has made every daughter, step-daughter, daughter-in-law cry tears of frustration with her constant comments on our ability or inability to parent.
It dawned on me there was a common thread between these women...beyond the ability to make my nerves stand on end...they all drove the 4 wheel advertisement of SuperMom...the mini-van. They are the MVM's (The MiniVan Moms)Their mini-vans screamed "I have all the answers, just ask me!" They look down on those of us who have kept our sedans, our SUV's, or even our classier pre-parenthood sports car siblings, with the sneer that says "I gave up more for my children than you did so I, am obviously the better parent." What is about the doors that slide open automatically that make you a better mom? Did your mini-van come with a magic "Mom" pill that the rest of us suckers didn't get? Does the Mom Taxi license plate holder give you the right and ability to diagnose and treat all the trials that come with raising children. Obviously the answer is no to each question...the mini-van has just given these women the false sense of entitlement they feel they need to lord over the rest of us NMVFM believers (No MiniVan for Me!).
I admit my theory probably wouldn't pass too many scientific experiments but as I drive home in my very non Mom Chrysler 300, I realize I need to think there is a reason for their holy than Dr. Spock attitudes so am content to blame it on the minivan. I breathe a sigh of relief for understanding it really isn't their fault, their cars made them do it and turn up the radio full blast as Eminem starts singing and know yes, this is another thing those MVM's would frown upon with a tsk tsk...
No comments:
Post a Comment