I have never understood women who have a hard time comprehending the no stalking rule...you know, the one that says to not overwhelm a man with the texts, the calls, the texts, the calls, etc...and then wonder why he feels smothered. Of course, it is completely appropriate to send the occasional check in texts, to expect the day after call after a kiss or more but that is a far stretch from the "well, he didn't call back so I figured I'd call again and again" philosophy that is out there. But, in the same vein, I expect to not have to worry about that with men either. Isn't there a manual or something that one can read that says "when she says she is busy, chances are she is actually busy"? Maybe, once again, I really do have a lot more "man" in me than I first admit. I need to feel wanted, but not smothered, attracted to but not obsessed over, flirted with but not monopolized by...it isn't tough, really...
So, not only did Tony Soprano cross a pretty major line last week by saying he was picturing me in heels and nothing else but then this week said he wanted to go on vacation somewhere with great room service. What?!? Can I say again, we have kissed just one time? While the idea of someone wanting to take me on some tropical vacation sounds fabulous, the idea this same person is picturing flying me to who knows where to stay in a hotel room walking around in heel pretty much negates the first great idea. Add to that his increasing frustration with my schedule is adding up to my ever dwindling interest. No, this isn't me talking myself out of something I wasn't really interested in to begin with. Really!!! If in the beginning he is already sending multiple texts to ask if I am free after I have gone through my long list of commitments that day then chances are he isn't going to become less demanding of my time if we were together. I can't feel guilty about my life...I won't again.
One of the positive aspects (which I have mentioned before) about my life after Alex is that I am accountable to no one...really..I worry about my kids, my job, my responsibilities, etc...but I don't have to worry that I didn't answer his call or wasn't going to be home for hours. And, while I know compromise comes with a relationship (which I do want some day), I can't have someone who expects to be my 1st, 2nd & 3rd priority. And, really, no one should. It is too easy to be devastated when that person invariably disappoints you. I really just want to find someone who I can occasionally text or call to flirt (and have it be reciprocated), go out to dinner with every now and then, take to parties once in awhile and sporadically invite to sleep over. And, again, isn't that a guy's dream?
I was lamenting about this dilemma recently during the 2x week run (well, walk with a little running thrown in) with my dating boss and wondering why this is so hard to find. Isn't there a balance between attention and clingy? Do I have to pick between one sided attraction and borderline obsession (well, that is a little strong but he did mention seeing me naked!!!)? And, while I was getting frustrated with this situation, she once again, put the positive spin on it that I needed...if nothing else, I now know even more what I want and don't want. It is kind of like buying a new car (which I won't be doing anytime soon) and picking which options are must haves and which ones make you decide on a different model. And, we also decided (or I decided and she nodded which is tacit agreement to me...even though it could have just been her head bobbing up and down as we jogged...hmm..)...that this was just another reason why the Hot Electrician and I make a good match...for at least a date. He isn't clingy...likes his space...understands being busy...has kids...now, I just need to again, convince him that I am the anti-girl....which means I am really a great catch.
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