Like many women, I fancy myself much more like Carrie than any of the other Sex in the City women (hence the moniker) but I think that most of us have a little Charlotte and Miranda in us as well...It is what made the show work...that we could see ourselves in each of the characters, and, if we are being completely honest, we all either have a teensy bit of Samantha hidden in there somewhere, or at least we wished we did. She is the one who, with careless abandon, really goes after what she wants and says pfft (well, the much more sophisticated version of pfft) to the consequences. She also looks at sex much more the way men do, as a form of release, entertainment, something to be enjoyed and not stress about, fretted over, regretted, dissected and all of the other "ed's" we as women do. Yes, society frowns on women who look at multiple partners as just their version of the Vegas Bellagio buffet line...so many choices, but worth every bite. And, really, I wouldn't want to live my life like that anyhow...although, I do make it a point to get to the Bellagio at least every other Vegas visit.
As we all know, I've been having a hard time the past few weeks trying to figure out why Jersey Shore all of a sudden stopped texting (even though he wasn't what I wanted), why Hot Electrician doesn't want me to help him rewire anything and why G.I. Joe hasn't hopped on a plane to fly 3000 miles to ask me to dinner...okay, I haven't really been losing sleep over any of the above but I have been a little preoccupied with the why of my current no plus one status. And, truly, I do believe a lot of the angst was hormonally induced. Maybe if I weren't feeling the need for physical interaction I'd be more able to see life clearly and not be waiting for The Situation's cousin to text me silliness that will lead to nowhere.
Fortunately, a longtime FWB had been hinting at, heck out and out asking for, some time for us to get together, and well, have sex. Over the past 2+years he has been an amazing friend and really, the last guy I did have sex with (over a year ago!). He is absolutely gorgeous but not at all what I'd ever want to date...a fact I realized very early in our friendship. But, he thinks I'm hot, is fun for a quick lunch date every now and then and really, is incredible in bed. I had blown off the past few invites because I really wasn't in the mood for sex with no brain activity involved. While I'm not expecting a guy to make my brain as hot as my body just to do the horizontal mambo with him, I do want to feel like there is a chance for something more. And, with Mr. 24 Hr Fitness, this was not the case.
However, as I contemplated my cloudy disposition over the lack of Mr. Right in my life, I decided maybe a little hormonal brain cleansing was not a bad idea. So, before I could lose my nerve, I texted him on the first day I felt like I looked hot enough to be fun with a "Well, wanna?" and well, he wanted. And, well, when you aren't trying to impress someone with your wit, your charm, your bedroom skills, while also trying to look 15 pounds lighter with no stretch marks, sex is really a lot easier! We laughed, we talked, we had great sex and, in the grand scheme of things, it worked. I felt sexy, independent and ready to take on the world...
But, of course, the world is a lot larger than his queen size bed and the reality of my life didn't really change. And, for a moment, I started to get depressed, but then I realized something even more important. The reason the glow of mind blowing sex faded was because I have finally moved on to where I do want more. And, by more, I don't mean with a fly in visit from Jersey Shore or anyone else who doesn't really want me. I am ready for the man who knows what he has in me and will be strong enough to see it and hold on.
We all look at Samantha with a touch of longing because we do know our minds and our hearts get involved when we have sex...and well, I for one, wouldn't have it any other way.
I wish I had had a little more of Samantha in me when I was single. I was and still am just a tad bit uptight, even though I try hard not to be. Of course when I was still single, I was younger than 24! That was a LONG time ago and who had ever heard of Samantha back then anyway! I'm proud of you girl! I say, go for it!
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As you can see from my post tonight I didn't have nearly as much Samantha as I thought. I'm definitely more of a Carrie. Oh well...it was fun while it lasted. ;-)
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