He's just not that into you...

There has been a battle waging lately, in the oh so interesting land of my brain, that rivals the Hatfields and McCoys any day of the week.  It is the struggle between patience and perseverance and the hard cold truth that maybe, just maybe, I'm really not all that irresistible and yes, he (substitute name of appropriate guy here) really isn't all that into me. 

I'm usually good at justification; of why someone does something, why I should get away with something, why I need that new pair of shoes (although I've been very aware of my bank account and have pretty much cured myself of the shoe justification).  However, even I have the draw the line at some point.  And, while my pride may take another hit, I need to realize that none of the cuties (or not so cuties) I have mentioned in this blog are pining away over me.  Therefore, I ought not be pining (or even pseudo pining) over them.

Really!  C'mon, Cutie doesn't initiate communication because he doesn't want to...not because his life is busy or as he tells me in our emails, how crazy work is and wow he wishes he had time for a get together.  He isn't a brain surgeon, small business owner or truck driver so yeah, thinking work may be an excuse.  And, seriously, Alex has not spent even half the time thinking about what a mistake he has made as I think he is.  He has moved on...even if it is with the 8th dwarf so not moving very fast.  But moving, nonetheless.  Finally, if the friend's brother had even an inclination of wanting to go out with me, he would have called.  So, I need to accept these facts and again, get over it and take the next steps forward in the right direction.

It isn't as if I don't think I have a lot to offer...not bad for a chick in her early 40's (not Cindy Crawford but don't need a bag over my head either), pretty darned smart, amusing and entertaining...wait, I'm starting to sound like an e-Harmony ad.  What I'm saying is, this isn't a session for me to feel down about myself...it is just a wake up call that the fantasy life and scenarios I can create in my head really aren't reality.  Yeah, what a news flash! 

Bottom line is, while Ben Affleck may have been that into Jennifer Aniston in the movie, in reality, these guys just "aren't that into me"...but the one who is, is out there.