Of course we all remember the iconic series, Father Knows Best and I don't want anyone to think I've hit my head and now believe my mother makes sense, but for this blog, we are going to consider her the exception and not the rule. For today's lesson, it is the moms who know what they are talking about and really, their sons need to listen! And, I'm also going to assume the premise of this blog to be true when it comes time for my son to date...which at age 12 will be years from now!!! Hey, it is again my fantasy world so let me live it.
I was hit with one my mind blowing epiphanies again this past weekend...okay, they blow no one's mind but I did find it at least blog worthy. As I was reviewing my FB friends list, and thinking about who and where I spend a lot of my time, I realized I am friends with the mothers of almost every guy I've ever seriously dated (or in one case want to date)...and wondered what exactly does that mean? Does it mean that I am the type of woman moms want to their sons to end up with? Or, does it mean I've spent way too many years trying to impress the wrong person? (Hey, their dads like me too...I mean the man himself!) Or, finally, does it mean I'm attracted to men who just can't figure out what they want and definitely don't want to date the woman their mom likes? Maybe if I can figure out the reason, I will be able to complete the dating trifecta and have the whole family actually like me.
A friend and reader theorized a few weeks ago that "nice guys don't finish last" as they actually just date the wrong women and end up feeling that way. And, maybe that is all related. Maybe the nice guys are dating the needy women...the ones who are like a train wreck just waiting to happen...the ones the mothers definitely don't like...because they want to feel needed...and because they certainly don't want to feel like they are pleasing their moms. Then, when they've helped pick these women up, get them settled and stop them from derailing, the women don't need them anymore and they are off to the next exciting adventure...leaving the nice guys feeling like they've just gone 4 quarters with the New Orleans Saints defensive line.
Add to that the fact most of us nice, normal, perfect women (ahem, I mean me) are too busy pining over, being attracted to, planning fantasy weddings (wait, did I actually type that) with the wrong guy...or the wrong guy for right now...even if their moms really do like us...and you have the formula for several hours of therapy on the couch.
My task, for when I decide I'm really ready to date, is to differentiate between the guys who want to find the woman who actually complements the family game night table vs. the ones who are looking to create shock value when they bring home their latest stiletto wearing, open mouth gum chewing, personality lacking flavor of the week...Hey, just generalizing here.
I just ordered a case of wine. Come on over and let's discuss. Because I can't figure it out.
ReplyDeleteAlthough, I have been dating a relatively "normal" man. At our first meeting, NOT a date. I was asked, "why are you single"? Before I could filter I laid out the fact that many men tend to spend their time with the needy/crazy/manipulative woman. I wasn't going to compete with crazy because well . . . I'd rather be happy and single than busy with the drama that type of relationship creates. I'm prepared to acquire one more dog, I have a pile of whimsical hats and tend to dance alone on my deck when the mood strikes. I'm prepared to live alone in bliss as opposed to competing with that woman you mention at the end.
Oddly enough we had a real date the following Friday and have seen each other every day but 2 in the past two weeks. The key . . . he's 14 years older than me. Maybe the same applies as it did in grade school . . . girls mature faster!
Pass the cork screw please.