Safety in distance

I’ve almost always been very good about protecting my heart (I say almost because as we all know, it definitely took a bit of a beating last year). Not becoming too emotionally attached to a guy has been my M.O. most of my life (hence the years of therapy…in addition to the fact my parents are both a bit off). But, for the most part this pattern of behavior has worked for me. I would meet great guys, have fun and then when it was time to move on, I would do so without the need to bury myself in a carton of Ben & Jerry’s. Not saying this was the picture of mental health but then again, I’ve never even claimed to be the poster child for sanity. Anyhow, there is a point to all of this. I have, unfortunately, found a very safe, albeit fun, way to get myself out there, without actually having to get out there!


Years and years ago (when my waist size was actually a size 6 and gray hair wasn’t even a distant relative, let alone close personal friend) I fell hard for this absolutely gorgeous Tim McGraw look alike who had moved to VA from Oklahoma to start a new life with his grandparents. Lucky for me, his grandparents ran the dinner theater where I worked for 2 years…right up until I went off to college. Mr. Oklahoma did set construction during the day and then bartended in the evening. Yes, even at the ripe old age of 17 I had a thing for the construction worker.

We had a very fleeting on/off again flirtation/romance which completely ended when I went off to school. He eventually married someone from my high school and I, obviously, moved on. But, he was definitely the first (and one of two guys) to come close to making me hit the chick stash of comfort food.

Well now, fast forward 20 years, two failed marriages and, oh yeah, an entire country of states between us and you can now find me with my new distraction. While his divorce is much more recent and therefore painful than my break up with Alex, we have started to connect… a few emails, texts and a couple of flirty comments. He, of course, meets almost all of my requirements…(again, ignore the fact there is a 3 hour time difference between our lives) so for now I am going to have fun with this.

Yes, I know this sounds like me trying to create the plot for a bad movie about reconnections after decades and long lost loves reunited but can you cut me some slack, please. I haven’t had a lot of action lately (again, I know this is because I’ve been waiting for UPS to deliver my perfect man on his next route but still). For now, I’m going to enjoy the cute little quips about whether or not he missed out all those years ago (well, of course he did…hello, this is me!) and consider this another step toward moving on.

And, finally, for all of you out there who have been perversely enjoying my never ending light saga, this is for you…I did a revamp yesterday and was so incredibly proud of myself…until every single strand of lights just stopped working! 1 hour of plugging and unplugging, 2 strands in the garbage later and I once again have lights…just not nearly as non pathetic as I had hoped!